I’m going to make this short, sweet, (hopefully funny) and to the point. This craze of removing monuments is getting out of hand.
Apparently the current mood in America, or by some Americans, is that civil war statues are offensive and should be removed. In many southern states monuments that have been standing for years are being removed and desecrated.
I believe that most young people have no idea who these bronze statues are or what they represent. If we were to remove all the plaques that are attached to the terrible monuments in question, no one would know what they are. For instance, let’s remove the plaque that is on or near this statue. Let’s change the plaque to Famous Steve Balboa who fought hard to earn money by preaching and collecting money to give to the poor. Kids these days wouldn’t know the difference.
With this in mind, I think it would be easier to just change all the plaques to make a better world and give hope that we can all be nice to one another. One can have a dream right? Oh wait, that statue is still standing.
Next, if removing the plaques doesn’t make people happy, what if we save money by removing the heads of these terrible monuments? Imagine a land of no headed statues. I’m trying to save money because, in case people have forgotten, most states don’t have a ton of money to remove statues. They barely have money to repair the roads properly. I digress. I think that removing the heads could be a good thing. Here are a few examples:
What do we do with the heads? Ever heard of Easter Island? By removing the heads what will aliens think in a million years when they visit our dead planet with statues of headless people all over the place? This could be our world!
Also, if we are rewriting our history and removing statues, what about the towns that get most of their revenue from tourists visiting civil war sites? Gettysburg for example, how much do they get from civil war tourists? I believe in light of today’s crazy thinking the revenue isn’t worth keeping the town. Therefore, we should burn the town down and erase it from the map. While we are at it, lets quarantine the dirt left over and make it a biohazard wasteland.
On a side note, there are currently statues of Michael Jackson around the world, but those are not being torn down, even though some people told him to beat it. There are also three statues of Lenin in the United States. I only read up on one; I found it fascinating that a statue that was so offensive to the Czechoslovakians ended up in Seattle. It makes me wonder what will happen to to all of our statues. I would find it more offensive if they found their homes in Iraq.
Also, I have found that many people hate clowns. Why is Ronald McDonald not removed all over America?
On a serious note, if these people who are so offended by these terrible monuments that “represent” slavery got together to join forces to stop the slavery that exists today (sex slavery) maybe the world could be a better place.