“I’m melting! Oh what a world”

(Credit for screen cap and original story to UKMuppets)

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Oh what a world, what a world. Who could have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness.”

A very dramatic scene it was, our young heroine from Kansas dousing the evil wicked witch with a handy bucket of water and removing her from the Land of Oz. I leave it to the reader to ponder the wisdom of the witch, leaving buckets of water scattered around where any young wench could wield them in so devastating a fashion.

In a similar dramatic vein, the Actual Owner of The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet has seen fit to announce her imminent departure from her very own Land of Oz. Let me just go right on ahead and toss my opinion of her post in the chat right here: it’s BULLSHIT. Everything this woman has ever done or ever said on that crap website of hers has been a lie. I see no reason to view this any differently.

The Queen of Mercury had her employee (Goutboy, the world’s greatest coding genius) turn off guest chat, thereby lowering the number of viewers that would parade through her channels (and they are HER channels, every last goddamned one of them) seeking to curry favor with her, kow-towing, kissing her cellulite mottled ass cheeks and generally demonstrating their spinelessness. So what does a drama queen do when the audience begins to get thin? The drama queen goes over the top.

“I am dying”

From a philosophical and linguistic vantage point, everything begins to die from the moment of its creation, but I will bet my last pair of socks that is not what this vile and loathsome woman is trying to make people think. This is a ploy, a stunt, another in a very long line of scams being run out by a self-confessed troll who is looking to shock and then elicit sympathy from the pathetic imbeciles that still use that pig sty of a web site.

“I am dying”

No where near fast enough.

HandsomeMork

Woe is me. Everyone hates me.

This Post Has 27 Comments

  1. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    BREAKING NEWS…. Scruffy still not dead.

  2. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    BREAKING NEWS…. Scruffy now laying claim to Congestive Heart Failure.

    This woman has no shame what so ever. Not a scintilla of embarrassment, not a trace of compunction, nary a smidgen of abashment. Her willingness to behave like this would be breathtaking were it not for her well established track record as a dyed-in-the-wool world class liar.
    null

  3. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    BREAKING NEWS……………. Scruffy is dying so Mark makes an announcement:
    null

    It is plain to see how seriously Mark is taking this.

  4. Avatar
    Gifted Likexmas

    Wait until you see the shit we do when you say you are on the brink!

  5. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    So far, no reports of mercury related deaths in Columbia, TN.

    Fingers crossed we get one soon.

  6. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!

    SCRUFFY STILL NOT DEAD….

    More info as it (doesn’t) become available……………………

  7. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    Nope, not yet.

    Do you know how hard it is to reserve a banquet hall for the party I’m going to throw when I can’t give them the date of her demise? How can I possibly work under these conditions?

  8. Avatar
    Spam From Home

    Have you ever wanted to spam from home or just top up your spam? This spam and tested spam teaches you how you can make spam from piles of dog shit your kids bring home. I swear to God, I am gonna jump off a fucking bridge.

  9. Avatar
    Micheal Carvett

    Have you ever wanted to work from home or just top up your earnings ? I do but I can’t since I’m stuck in spam prison. I am being forced to spam all these boring and not boring blogs. There is currently a gun to my head right now in efforts to make me spam you bloggers. If you read this as it appears this blog has no readers, please call for help. When calling the authorities please make sure they bring me a sandwich as I can take no more gruel. Yes I know starving children in Africa would appreciate gruel, but I’m sure they have never heard of Jimmy Johns and I would really like a Jimmy Johns right now. Extra mayonnaise please.

  10. Avatar

    I am somewhat retarded, like molasses on a cold day being poured on the heaving bosom of a spam mammal.

  11. Avatar
    SpamCina

    I thank you all for making my life 100% better than it was. I was a poor and miserable child, raised by marmosets after my parents were killed in the spam factory. Your writings have given me hope for a better tomorrow and have also gotten the taste of spam out of our local water supply.

  12. Avatar
    Spameister Flash

    I prefer my spam to taste like it has been digested by a crew of Japanese fishermen before I prepare it for my personal consumption. I envision a sort of Human Sushi Centipede which acts to soften all my spam and infuse it with the flavors of numerous digestive tracts of an Asian persuasion, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I am still working my day job at the spinach farm near Oxnard. After work, I like to unwind down by the docks by entertaining sailors and the homeless.

  13. Avatar

    I found your weblog website on google and decided to place some spam in your comments section because I am a big, fat, smelly loser who lives off the change I boost out of vending machines.
    Last week I made $1.35. Life is good. I’m saving up for a sex change operation to become a clam.

  14. Avatar

    Your house is valueble for me. Thanks!… I can’t spell “valuable”, but I sure know how to post spam. Also, I know how to paint houses. I’m a greasy, spam-eating prostitute with no education who writes spam for a living. I make more money than the rest of my family put together.

  15. Avatar

    Good day I am so happy I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Askjeeve for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for an incredible opportunity to post some spam. Do you think there is spam in hell? I think Satan shits spam and then gives us flimsy sporks that break whenever we try to use them. That’s why they call it hell. I used to smear fresh dog turds on my knees when I was a priest. It made my sermons more interesting and aroused me tremendously. So much for me. Spam spam spam spam.

  16. Avatar
    Good Spam Near Me

    We’re a group of volunteers and we like to jerk off on suggestive spam sculptures and you can guess at the rest of it.

  17. Avatar
    Spam Gay Hall

    I do accept spam as my lord and savior and sex partner, true with all of the ideas my mother offered to improve my sex life.
    I prefer spam made from bird anus. I am not one of the vegan sissy boys who eschews eating animal waste. I looooove the aroma of freshly brewed cow feces and maggots. It makes me think I could have been a man.

  18. Avatar

    Heya i am for the first time here. I found this board and decided to leave spam comments, because this guy I work for – his name is Steve but he wants to be called Estee Bahn, crazy bastards, those Brits- pays me to leave spam comments on any internet blog I can find.
    I pretty much have a dead end life and would eat rat poison, but sadly I am immune to it after so many attempts. Well, that’s it for me. I am headed down to the local salvation army bucket to see if I can scoop some cash outta the bucket while the bell ringer is doing his thing, I wish I had the skills for that job. That would be sweet.

  19. Avatar
    numero 1 mondial

    The next time I read a weblog, I hope that I come as hard as I did when I read this post. I orgasmed so hard, I could not walk for a week and I shat out a can of spam that had been lodged in my rectum for the last four years.

    Sometimes, when I sneeze, I pee a little.

  20. Avatar
    HandsomeMork

    This story just in…

    Scruffy still not dead.

  21. Avatar
    Rebaspam Newspam

    I agree with the asshole below. This particular post if a motherfucking spam magnet. It makes my labia quiver just reading the word “spam”, so obviously I spend all my free time right here.

  22. Avatar
    German Spammer

    I wonder why THIS post attracts so much spam. Also, my mother treats me life one of her inflatable sex toys. All the other people in the house smirk at me and ask where she inflated me. They know where she inflates me, oh how well they know.

  23. Avatar

    As a leading poster of comment spam, I would like to remark that spam spam is spam and spam therefore spam.

  24. Avatar

    Hi there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if spam could be used to build rocketships? I would like to explore the planets in a spaceship that I could eat if I got hungry along the way. I asked my mother and she tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. She’s been kinda unpredictable since the accident.

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