“I’m melting! Oh what a world”

(Credit for screen cap and original story to UKMuppets)

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Oh what a world, what a world. Who could have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness.”

A very dramatic scene it was, our young heroine from Kansas dousing the evil wicked witch with a handy bucket of water and removing her from the Land of Oz. I leave it to the reader to ponder the wisdom of the witch, leaving buckets of water scattered around where any young wench could wield them in so devastating a fashion.

In a similar dramatic vein, the Actual Owner of The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet has seen fit to announce her imminent departure from her very own Land of Oz. Let me just go right on ahead and toss my opinion of her post in the chat right here: it’s BULLSHIT. Everything this woman has ever done or ever said on that crap website of hers has been a lie. I see no reason to view this any differently.

The Queen of Mercury had her employee (Goutboy, the world’s greatest coding genius) turn off guest chat, thereby lowering the number of viewers that would parade through her channels (and they are HER channels, every last goddamned one of them) seeking to curry favor with her, kow-towing, kissing her cellulite mottled ass cheeks and generally demonstrating their spinelessness. So what does a drama queen do when the audience begins to get thin? The drama queen goes over the top.

“I am dying”

From a philosophical and linguistic vantage point, everything begins to die from the moment of its creation, but I will bet my last pair of socks that is not what this vile and loathsome woman is trying to make people think. This is a ploy, a stunt, another in a very long line of scams being run out by a self-confessed troll who is looking to shock and then elicit sympathy from the pathetic imbeciles that still use that pig sty of a web site.

“I am dying”

No where near fast enough.

14 comments on ““I’m melting! Oh what a world”

  1. BREAKING NEWS…. Scruffy now laying claim to Congestive Heart Failure.

    This woman has no shame what so ever. Not a scintilla of embarrassment, not a trace of compunction, nary a smidgen of abashment. Her willingness to behave like this would be breathtaking were it not for her well established track record as a dyed-in-the-wool world class liar.

  2. BREAKING NEWS……………. Scruffy is dying so Mark makes an announcement:

    It is plain to see how seriously Mark is taking this.

  3. NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!


    More info as it (doesn’t) become available……………………

  4. Nope, not yet.

    Do you know how hard it is to reserve a banquet hall for the party I’m going to throw when I can’t give them the date of her demise? How can I possibly work under these conditions?

  5. Have you ever wanted to spam from home or just top up your spam? This spam and tested spam teaches you how you can make spam from piles of dog shit your kids bring home. I swear to God, I am gonna jump off a fucking bridge.

  6. Have you ever wanted to work from home or just top up your earnings ? I do but I can’t since I’m stuck in spam prison. I am being forced to spam all these boring and not boring blogs. There is currently a gun to my head right now in efforts to make me spam you bloggers. If you read this as it appears this blog has no readers, please call for help. When calling the authorities please make sure they bring me a sandwich as I can take no more gruel. Yes I know starving children in Africa would appreciate gruel, but I’m sure they have never heard of Jimmy Johns and I would really like a Jimmy Johns right now. Extra mayonnaise please.

  7. I thank you all for making my life 100% better than it was. I was a poor and miserable child, raised by marmosets after my parents were killed in the spam factory. Your writings have given me hope for a better tomorrow and have also gotten the taste of spam out of our local water supply.

  8. I prefer my spam to taste like it has been digested by a crew of Japanese fishermen before I prepare it for my personal consumption. I envision a sort of Human Sushi Centipede which acts to soften all my spam and infuse it with the flavors of numerous digestive tracts of an Asian persuasion, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I am still working my day job at the spinach farm near Oxnard. After work, I like to unwind down by the docks by entertaining sailors and the homeless.

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