There are a few things I do well and a lot of things I don’t. Today was a success in my book. I usually think I fail at living, after reflecting on this, I am currently breathing and my heart is pumping which means I do not fail at living.
Home improvement on the other hand is something I’m generally not good at. With my current state of mind of reducing my carbon footprint on the planet I decided to go green, well yellow. ( I will explain later.) For those of you who don’t know I’m a bit of a hairy beast. I also have thing one and thing two that are also hairy beasts. We all use the shower/bathtub, which means the drain gets clogged regularly. This week, or the past 5 but who is counting, the bathtub drain has been clogged and today was the day I battled it out with the hairy beast below the bathtub.
Usually I would purchase a bottle of Draino pour it down the drain, impatiently wait the 15-30 minutes as recommended by the directions, and flush with water until the clog was washed away. When I tell people I do this I’m always told how terrible the bottle of chemicals are for my pipes and no one ever seems to care that I’m dumping a bottle of chemicals into the environment. Today I decided not to purchase the bottle of chemicals and go with something a little better for the environment. I purchased the Cobra zip it drain cleaner which is very yellow. I would have linked you to the website but I couldn’t find one for that particular brand so google it yourself if you must know what I am referring to. This is a little plastic stick with little teeth sticking out of the bottom part of the stick.
I inspected the little stick a little more closely I felt like I had been dupped and had wasted my money. How is this little piece of plastic going to do anything? Won’t this get stuck in my drain? These are just a few things I thought to myself.
Home improvement projects make me a little anxious for unknown reasons. I took a deep breath and put on my rubber gloves. Yes I have to hype myself up to face this slimy monster in my drain. I thought of some slimy thing coming up out of the drain to get me. Wait, where have I had that thought before?
That’s right Ghostbusters 2. Laughing at myself I head to the bathroom, gloves donned and holding my little plastic sword ready to fight whatever evil hairy slimy monster that lurks in the bathtub drain. I also am hoping this works and the little plastic sword doesn’t get stuck in the drain. How embarrassing would that be having to call a plumber for that! That would suck.
I started easing the plastic wand into the drain and surprisingly the little teeth were sharper than I expected. It went in easier than I expected. (I hear you snickering you dirty minded fuckers.) I pulled it out and yes it was gross. Grosser than I had anticipated. I also didn’t anticipate that the hair was around the top of the drain. Also, it was not as much hair as I had expected. With all that said, I did it! I was so happy I did a little dance. Beast thing one and two did a little dance too.
And no I didn’t get grossed out like in the following video. Skip to a little before 1:00 because really who wants to hear all his talking.
UPDATE: I must say this little gadget must work wonders as I haven’t had to use it again. That or I punctured the drain pipe and my shower water is going to the downstairs apartment. If that is the case, I’m ok with that as the man in 211 is a jerk and he deserves a leak in his apartment!