Been a heck of a night.

My old friend Neil (Neil is an Irishman who lives in the lower Hudson Valley, and one of the finest people you will ever meet) and I were talking a few weeks ago, and we agreed that to a couple of average Joes like ourselves, it really doesn’t matter all that much who is actually sitting in the leather chair in the Oval Office. I assume it’s leather. For all I know, it may be Naugahyde. That would be be a shame. If I were President, I’d buy me a leather chair, with a high back so I could nod off (which I am wont to do as I get older).

Anyway, like a lot of “normal” folks, I still find myself getting a tad worked up over presidential elections (and thank god Bill Clinton is out of the picture, or we’d be getting worked up over presidential erections, and I’m sorry I even wrote that… ) so since around 23:00 I’ve been reading this site and that site and it seems (as always) there’s a whole lot of heat but very little light.

What I do have is a monster of a headache. I feel like a nail is being hammered into the socket of my right eye, which is somewhat unpleasant, as you may well imagine. Any time I get that “nail in the eye socket” headache, I go look at the local weather, because roughly 100% of the time, the barometric pressure is either rapidly climbing or falling. Tonight it is taking off like a damned rocket, and coupled with all the reading of both the learned and the ignorant I’ve been doing for the last 7 hours, this headache falls into the “blinding” category.

I tried laying down and convincing myself to go to sleep, but that effort was for naught, so I returned to my office for some relief out of one of those small plastic bottles. It will take a few minute to for the effects of the medicine to begin to work their magic, but in time, the pain will fade and life will be better.

This may be an analogy for elections. Maybe. Maybe not. I will leave that to the wise dead, such as Samuel Clemens, who ALWAYS had something absolutely spot on to say about most any aspect of the human condition. All I can can come up with is “Fuck, my head is killing me.”

So anyway, my thoughts for the evening are two-fold. Firstly, one pundit that I read tonight stated that whether you win, lose, or draw in this election, we live in a country where we can actually vote for the person we desire to be our leader, and in the known history of humanity, that privilege is actually fairly rare.  Secondly, the meds are starting to work and I am damned glad to live in an age where pain relief comes in plastic bottles at remarkably affordable prices.

All in all, it isn’t a bad time to be alive.

Fun with zombies

So, this tale begins with a merger between two telecom companies and something called voLTE (which stands for “voice over Long Term Evolution”, if you can dig that).

My cell phone carrier was the company that gotten eaten by the merger (by default, every business merger has a winner and a loser) and the company that won the merger uses this voLTE shit. The winning company published a list of the losing company’s phones that would work with voLTE, AND OF COURSE… mine was not on the list. Time to get a new phone, goddammit. I hate cell phones in general, and I truly despise new cell phones in particular.

Living in the middle of nowhere, I decided to drive to a nearby metropolis and purchase a new phone in person and have the salespeople explain the workings of this new phone to my poor ignorant self. To make a long story short, they had the phone I decided to get in stock, but it was in some color called “Sissy 12 year old girl unicorn sparkle” and I wanted a black one. So they ordered me a black one, shipped to my address – and please bring it to the store when you get it so we can pair it to your car and show you all the fabulous features and so on and so forth – which means I get to go home, wait for a box to arrive, then drive back to the metropolis.

Which I did. To describe what happened in the store when I got there with the new phone would beggar belief, so we’ll just leave that part out of this story and say that after a week or so of resetting the phone, I think I finally know what some of the buttons do. But that’s not what this story is about. This story is about me getting a new phone number to go along with the new phone.

When you get a “new” number, you are getting someone’s old number, and chances are they didn’t give up their old number for fun. (My last “new” number belonged to some asshole who owes everyone in the United States money, including the government of said United States, and they want him badly for defaulted student loans. For the three plus years I had that number, I got calls for this dickhead looking to collect money. I would explain to the callers that the number in question now belonged to me, some of the callers apologized for calling and said they would remove the number from their database, but other callers basically said “fuck you, this is the only number we have and we will keep right on calling”. I do need to mention that I reached out to a friend in the business of enforcing laws who actually tracked the prior owner down. He shows 2 active address (one is his mother’s house) AND he has NO current phone numbers in his name AND he is still giving out his old number whenever he is required to give a number.

So anyway, the “new” number I got seems to have been owned by a woman who uses two different names (I know, shocking, isn’t it?) and since we are coming up on an election… well, I have been getting a LOT of text messages, and I want to use just one of them to illustrate the fun I am having.

The “Okay thanks, have a good day” went on for well over an hour. Spam? In any event, I have gotten texts from Greenpeace, the NAACP, the Sierra Club, some group called Care in Action, and several other organizations I have never heard of, but I am reasonably certain George Soros is underwriting them. They all get the same basic reply as above. Usually that ends the conversation, but the NAACP wanted to know exactly how I planned to vote (mail, early-in-person or in person on election day). Now that doesn’t make me too paranoid at all. And by the way, I told them “all of the above” then blocked their number.

So this is how I am entertaining myself these days, and if, by chance, some woman is getting a ration of shit mail from the good folks at the NAACP or Greenpeace, well that makes it even better.

And who didn’t see this coming?

Kyle Rittenhouse.

He’s going to be famous for some time. At this time, it appears that young Kyle is a high school drop out, not possessed of a sterling intellect, a wanna-be Marine/Fireman/Policeman who has now entered a brand new phase of his life: soon-to-be-convicted murderer.

If he gets good enough legal representation, he may skate on murder in the first degree, but he has an uphill climb to do that. He was unlawfully in possession of a firearm (Kyle is 17 years old and strutting around town with an AR is legal nowhere at all except maybe Mogadishu). He traveled a fair distance to be at the scene of riotous behavior – in other words, he went out of his way to get there. He apparently announced in speech and in writing that he was headed to Kenosha to “defend/protect property”, exactly none of which belonged to him. All of this speaks to a certain level of planning and premeditation, and premeditation is a key element in the charge of murder in the 1st degree.

Kyle’s facebook and other social media accounts were widely captured before they were shut down. In these various accounts, Kyle appears dressed as GI Joe, a police cadet (he may/may not have been enrolled in a cadet program in some jurisdiction) and is fully suited up as a fireman. And then there’s THE picture of him, holding onto a S&W M&P rifle (that’s the Smith & Wesson version of an AR-15) wearing some shoes that you gotta see to believe.

Dude, really? Where does someone even go to find such… interesting footwear.

Based on his fashion sensibilities, he may try for the insanity defense.

Kyle is an all too predictable outcome of the street calculus that is being acted out right now. Naughty people are doing everything in their power to provoke a response from the police. To the surprise of no thinking person, a wannabe cop shows up and responds to the provocation. There is a massive amount of “information static” surrounding what happened to and around Kyle before he started pulling his trigger. There are reports of him getting smacked in the back of the head by a skateboard, there are numerous witnesses stating that he was being rushed by people who intended him harm. There are reports that one or more of these personages may have been in possession of openly displayed firearms, which will be a key element in any case made for self-defense.

It is in poor taste to observe that he was able to simply get up and walk away from the scene, which is a sort of a left handed complimentary testimony to the benefits of having superior fire power. Had the Antifaoids been better organized (and after this, I believe they will be), they would have descended on this kid and eaten him alive.

But getting back to his upcoming trial, he will be tried as an adult, I suspect the state will go for murder in the first degree, but they will also charge him with murder in the second degree, manslaughter, assault inflicting grievous bodily injury, attempted murder, various weapons charges, etc., etc. After his conviction, he will then be carted off to some prison where his asshole will be widened considerably. No doubt about it, he is gonna be someone’s wife.

It’s a shame someone didn’t take a hard look at him, ask him how old he was and send him home. But, to our knowledge, no one did (which is perhaps understandable given the total chaos that was going on around him). Several lives would be on different trajectories right now if he had been escorted back to his car and told to beat it.

 

Of course you can’t breathe…

From the POWERLINE BLOG:

At 7:30 p.m. on May 31, 2020, prosecutors “met” online with Dr. Andrew Baker, Chief Medical Examiner of Hennepin County, to discuss Floyd’s toxicology report.

So there they were, staring at the just-received and damning toxicology report that blew to smithereens the whole prosecution theory that the police had killed Floyd. To their undoubted dismay, Dr. Baker, the chief medical examiner, had to concede that at 11 ng/mL, Floyd had “a fatal level of fentanyl under normal circumstances.” He also conceded that the fentanyl overdose “can cause pulmonary edema,” a frothy fluid build-up in the lungs that was evidenced by the finding at autopsy that Floyd’s lungs weighed two to three times normal weight.

This is consistent with Officer Kueng’s observation at the scene that Floyd was foaming at the mouth and, as found at autopsy, that his lungs were “diffusely congested and edematous.”

In other words, like a drowned man, Floyd’s lungs were filled with fluid. And that was the obvious and inescapable reason why Floyd kept shouting over and over again that he couldn’t breathe even when he was upright and mobile.

The memorandum ends with Dr. Baker’s devastating conclusion that “if Floyd had been found dead in his home (or anywhere else) and there were no other contributing factors he [Dr. Baker] would conclude that it was an overdose death.”

It is quite telling that this explosively exculpatory June 1 memorandum was not released by the prosecution until August 25, 2020. All of which prompts these questions:

First, why did the prosecution wait three months to release this memorandum?

Second, if the prosecution had released this information in a timely fashion, would that have helped to quell the anti-police outrage that has fueled the nationwide orgy of rioting and looting?

Third, in light of Floyd’s toxicology results and the medical examiner’s assessment that Floyd’s fentanyl overdose caused him to essentially drown in his own bodily fluid, why haven’t the charges against all of the police defendants been dropped?

***********************************************************************************************************************

I think we all know why the charges aren’t being dropped. The loud & stupid would lose their loud & stupid minds and burn down the rest of Minneapolis… unless the required amount of force was brought to bear to put a stop to them. So far, no political will to act has been observed in Minneapolis.

I went for a ride

The world is an irksome place right now. The United States is just crawling with low intelligence high volume morons who seem to be upset that they aren’t allowed to rob, steal, rape and plunder at their leisure. As of this time, it is still unlawful for good, upstanding citizens to drop these miscreants on sight, so I did the only thing I could do.

I dropped the top and went for a ride.

The best therapy is convertible therapy.

Joggers and other knaves

So let’s get down to it. Our “betters” in the national media have stories they want to tell. The term “narrative” is bandied about quite a bit. Facts that do not advance the narrative are simply left out of the coverage. If you are some busy person who has 10 minutes a day for a quick update/refresher on what’s going on in the world you are getting ROYALLY FUCKED, HARD, by the people who run 99% of the newspapers and TV news in the world (sadly, this problem is most assuredly not confined to the United States).

So I am gonna touch on three stories that are currently being used (and they are indeed being used in the truest sense of the verb) by the media to whip up a frenzy, seed more trouble (thereby perpetuating the story cycle) and most importantly, sell more newspaper ads, TV commercials, and enhance their revenue – which is the true bottom line here. They will throw anybody to the wolves if they can make a dollar out of it.

Story One: Ahmed/Ahmaud Arbery – Ahmed is was a convicted felon. He had a history of running when he was accosted. He had a history of carrying a firearm. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is well aware of “Maude’s” (his nom de rue) prior history. The man who shot “Maude” had participated in arresting Maude on a prior occasion and was well familiar with Maude’s background – to wit: Maude carries a gun and likes to run. Perhaps, just maybe, you may begin to understand why several agencies investigated the apprehension of Maude and declined to prosecute. The “jogger” story was an invention by one Lee Merritt, the attorney who is representing the deceased felon’s family. Much can be read about Mr Merritt elsewhere. Sadly, the lies spread by the local newspaper have already triggered one mental defective into a shooting spree in Arizona.

Story Two: “Central Park Karen” – the lady with the unleashed dog makes panicked call to 911, breathlessly says an African American Male is threatening her. We’ve all seen this one. Amy Cooper (AKA forever more KAREN) had her dog off a leash in an area that was posted as requiring dogs to be leashed. The media has presented a story of Black Man asks White Lady to leash dog, she freaks out, calls 911 and reports “African American Male is threatening me”. Sweet Jesus, you all say, what the hell is up this bitch’s backside? Well, apparently there is MORE to the STORY… What did the media leave out? This is from Christian Cooper’s Facebook Page:

“ME: Ma’am, dogs in the [Bramble] have to be on the leash at all times. The sign is right there.

“HER: The dog runs are closed. He needs his exercise.”

“ME: Look, if you’re going to do what you want, I’m going to do what I want, but you’re not going to like it.

HER: What’s that?

ME [to the dog]: Come here, puppy!

“HER: He won’t come to you.”

“ME: We’ll see about that… I pull out the dog treats I carry for just such intransigence. I didn’t even get a chance to toss any treats to the pooch before Karen scrambled to grab the dog.

“HER: DON’T YOU TOUCH MY DOG!!!!!”

Who is Christian Cooper? Why he’s the African American male that was the subject of the 911 call. The whole business of him trying to get her dog in his grasp has somehow magically been left out of the story. I suspect that might change the tone of the story and not sell quite as many ads? By the way, KAREN (Amy Cooper) has been placed on “administrative leave” from her job AND her dog has been taken from her. (note: that all parties in this story have the same last name, which nicely adds to the confusion)

Story Three: George Floyd – Suddenly this guy’s history has fucking dis-a-ppeared (edit: I now have more info about the late Mr Floyd’s criminal history – adding to the bottom of this post). Therefore, I suspect he has extensive priors. According to the AJ-C (see above), George was convicted of armed robbery during a home invasion in 2007. What we know is that he matched a description given out on a forgery in progress call. When he was hailed by the police, he decided to fight. Let’s repeat that, shall we? He decided he wanted to play Billy Badass and fight the cops. It is worth noting that George is being described as “a gentle giant” by his former associates. This means he was a big dude. It ended with Billy, I mean George, face down, handcuffed, with a knee on his neck and he got dead. Who got George dead? George got George dead. Imagine George saying something like “Officer, I believe this is a case of mistaken identity, but I shall cooperate with you until we can get this situation rectified.” George would still be alive. But George wanted to fight, and George is dead. Now Minneapolis is gonna endure all sorts of BULLSHIT simply because a convicted felon decided to play tough guy, got his ass handed to him, and now the professional race-baiters and their friends in the media see an opportunity to make some money.

So the next time you read a story in a newspaper, or see some clip on the evening news and you feel filled with a sense of towering outrage… odds are you have been played. There’s damn near ALWAYS something that is critical to why events progressed the way they did, and the media is deliberately leaving that information out.

George Floyd –

  • 1998 – Theft using a firearm
  • 2002 – possession of cocaine
  • 2004 – possession of cocaine
  • 2005 – possession of cocaine
  • 2005 – armed home invasion (this one is pretty nasty, he pressed a gun into the stomach of a pregnant woman – the home owner, to ensure her compliance
  • 2020 – Attempted to pass a counterfeit bill to pay for goods, this leads to a 911 call where the caller states Mr Floyd is acting in an erratic fashion, his autopsy will ultimately reveal that he is under the influence of fentanyl and methamphetamines.

 

Less Random Thoughts @ 1:52 AM

I read an interesting article this evening that predicts imminent martial law in the United States. By imminent, we’re talking within the next two weeks. The thrust of the article was “go right now to where you want to be for the next two to three months, because that is where you will be staying”.

Coincidentally, this morning I was speaking to a family member who has an offspring in the USMC. He advised his father that it is fairly likely interstate travel may be restricted in short order. That raises some interesting issues for folks with far flung families and people who live near state lines.

As an example, there is a town not too far from where I am sitting right now that does a great deal of business with folks from our neighboring state. Simply put, the nearest Wal Mart to these out-of-staters  is located in this state. If you go to the shopping center that this Wally World is in, easily a full third of the license tags in that parking lot are from the other side of the border. If the border is closed, do they then get to drive an extra hour to buy their ration of toilet paper and frozen chicken?

There is yet another town not too far away at all from where I am sitting right now that has the state line running directly through its middle. If a resident of this town wants to mail a letter and the post office is across the invisible line, do they get to drive to Nexttownover to mail it? And what if the fire station or police department is on one side of the border and a bandit starts a fire on the other side? There are gonna be a SHIT TON of details to work out over this state line thing.

If your elderly parent/grandparents/aunts/uncles live in Florida (as an example) and have a stroke, fall down and break that hip, or lose their spouse, will their be some form of compassionate relief to allow folks from elsewhere to get there to help out in this time of need? Again, gonna be a SHIT TON of details to work through here.

This is going to be an interesting year for anyone graduating from school at any level. Graduation ceremonies, proms, senior class events, etc. are all canceled. Final exams are likely going to be problematic as well, so anyone with marginal grades that was looking to cram for that final to try to pull their grade up is well & truly fucked. Those pictures of Junior in cap and gown posing with proud mom and dad will not be taken in 2020.

Amazon has already announced they are prioritizing shipping of merchandise based on category. So if you want to get the kids an X-Box to keep them entertained, you might be out of luck here. Amazon says they are focusing on shipping baby products (because babies just don’t care, they will keep on turning baby food to yellow poop) health and household goods, beauty and personal care, groceries, industrial and scientific products, and pet supplies. So They will send out Q Tips, soup, dog food, diapers, lip stick and light bulbs, but the other stuff… maybe not so much. So the point is, if there is something you think you might want, right now would be a good time to get it.

If the power goes out, there will be trouble.

Of course, there’s always a bright side to things:

 

Is this place dead or what?

Cocoa said she was gonna do a post about Youtube killing my last show… but she didn’t.

I was doing my usual Friday show thing, this time using Youtube (which, parenthetically speaking, used to have no issue with it – but times and rules change, eh?) and just after 2 hours they shut me down. I could read the chat and see people saying I had been shut down, but I couldn’t type anything at all so I had no way of telling everyone good night. I got an email later that night saying they shut me down because “Due to a copyright match, your stream was interrupted”. I am amused by this because I had been on for over 2 hours. So did the “copyright match” take place earlier and it took them some time to react, OR was the song that was playing at that exact moment trigger the match? Who knows. I do know that based on the experience of many other streamers, Youtube will never tell me. So anyway, I am crossing Youtube off the list of places to do a show.

Got an email concerning perpetual guest numbers on Ivlog. The emailer said that they have had the same guest number for the last 2 days. They said that they ran CCleaner, deleted their cookies and so on and so forth and still had the same guest number. I went to Ivlog and lo, the assigned number I got seemed to want to stick. I blew out all the ivlog cookies (there are several of them) and removed ivlog from my history, returned to ivlog and… same guest number. IP linked? So then I removed the cookies and history and waited until the next day to go back. Now I had a different guest number. The sad and tiny little fellow that runs Ivlog really really REALLY wants to know who everyone is that uses that site. Be aware that this change in assigning a guest number is probably not in your best interests.

Goutboy might be feeling some heat from a certain sports league. I went looking to see who was showing preseason NFL games on the Miscellaneous channel and lo, nary a game was to be found anywhere on the entire site. Interesting, very interesting as Arte Johnson used to say.

There was a spot of excitement on Twitter today as they were streaming a Madden ’19 tournament out of Jacksonville, Florida and some beta male took losing his round to heart and proceeded to shoot the venue up and then put one through his own head. Dear suicidal losers: PLEASE, make your last shot your first shot. Blow your own pathetic brains out before you shoot other people. Thank you. Invest in metal detector stocks now, because this guy has just given every business that caters to groups larger than two a reason to buy one. Every news site in the world linked to Twitter for the video of when the shooting started, so Twitter, in a moment of brilliant business insight, pulled the video down. No free advertising for you, come back, one year.

Be careful out there, people.

A Mixed Family

Well, yet another of my brother’s offspring is turning us into a Mixed family.

After multiple generations of soldiers on my father’s side of the family tree, my younger brother’s oldest son went off and joined the Marine Corps. I was able to take that in stride, because they do have some damn fine looking dress uniforms (not to mention Daniel had been dead set on joining the USMC since he was around 14 years old and never made a secret of it).

Now, Daniel’s youngest brother is doing something that leaves me aghast, bewildered, shocked, bamboozled, slick-jawed, dazed and in all other ways totally corn-fused. He is going to the University of Tennessee.

Now you just have to understand something here. All of us, every last one of us, went to NCSU. My brother, my wife, my kids, hell, I suspect my dog went to State. When you cut one of us, we bleed Wolfpack Red. And now, this young scallywag is going to Tennessee??

They say change is good. In any event, of course I wish him the very best. He is going to UT for a degree in aerospace engineering with an eye on USMC aviation when he gets out. True story: when he was but a wee lad, he was taken to Parris Island to attend his brother’s graduation from basic. Watching the recruit companies on the parade ground made quite the impression on him and he loudly announced that when he grew up, he was going to be a Marine. His mother looked down at him and said “Over my dead body.” I looked right at my brother and said “well, I guess he’s gonna be a Marine”.

Moms, NEVER tell your boys that can’t do something.

Should I wear the red shirt or blue shirt?

Has society become so bored in our everyday lives that we are willing to pick a fight over nothing?   Since when did society become so politically correct that having an opinion is offensive.  When do we ‘turn the other cheek’ these days?  Are you willing to shoot someone over a blue shirt?  These are some of the questions that run through my mind as I try to ignore the news while waiting for the traffic report.

A few weeks ago I was conversing with an Airman, who I will refer to as Sgt. Sexy.  If you ever need a piece of eye candy, please call Sgt Sexy.  He has a nice body and a brilliant mind.  I only put the brilliant mind part because he’s hot and I have no idea if he is smart but he reads this blog so I feel obligated to write that he is smart. He is no doubt smarter than me so lets roll with that. He is currently stationed out of the country and has seen a fair share of inflicted damage. Back to the point, I was conversing with Sgt Sexy regarding violence in the world and the fact that we don’t respect people’s opinions or even their rights to have a different opinion.

This happened just this past week.  Apparently Kanye West made some dumb comments. The next day a few people on the local radio station were saying they need to take away his kids, remove him from the birth certificate and remove him from the black race.  I must clarify that I believe what he said was dumb, and I think most people will agree with me, but I don’t believe he should not have the rights to being black, or having a child/children.  I honestly don’t know how many kids he has and I don’t care.  What if he had said something like “I hate the color green” and people said the same things over his hatred for the color green? I believe these people were more bothered by his jumping over to Trump’s side than the dumb comments about slavery, but whatever.  Do you believe society could hate someone over their hatred of a color like green?

The answer is yes.  There have been many people who have been injured or killed for wearing the wrong colors such as blue or red.  I own a blue shirt and a red shirt and when I put them on I find myself wondering if I will be killed over a 5 dollar shirt. It’s not just in America, others can’t wear red for whatever dumb reason like this one.  Would you be willing to kill someone over the color of their shirt or handbag?

Sgt. Sexy and I also discussed how some of these fights are down right dumb.  I told him I would need to google some of these things, because now I’m curious.  I thought about what dumb things I’ve fought about in my own life.  Yes, I have argued over toilet paper, I’m not proud of it.  I will continue to maintain that wasn’t my fault and it was also the breaking point of things that were boiling up for months.  Never the less, I argued over toilet paper.

I will say the war over a loose dog is pretty bad.  I know that couples fight over dumb things, such as toilet paper but the fight over imaginary money is pretty good too. After my google searching I realize it’s not today’s society that is dumb.  The human race is dumb.  We are just a bunch of hot heads running around being offended, ready for a good reason to tell someone off. As for killing over these things and peoples opinions I can’t do it.

Tell us in the comments what dumb thing you have fought over please!  I’m hoping someone can beat my toilet paper fight.

 

 

Mandela Effect Is Real or Fake?

In my self-medicated state I’ve been obsessing with the Mandela Effect and the TV show Flipper.  The new generation and future generations will probably never know the TV show because it is another piece of history that is being erased or forgotten. Is this a result of the Mandela Effect or was it not a good TV show to remember?

I first found out about the Mandela Effect a few months ago while having lunch with a friend; I thought my friend was on drugs and disregarded it.  During the next few weeks after that lunch my friend showed me different examples of the Mandela Effect.  I still brushed him off but between my medicated state and the Facebook Scandal I’m thinking it might be real.

The Mandela Effect, put simply, is remembering things differently than how they actually happened.  I believe we all do this during our lifetime.  Such as Bob who was a drunken, thieving criminal during his life but once Bob dies he was a kind and loving man.  This happens often, people are thought of in high regards once they die when in reality people are held in low regard when they are alive. Except Hitler. I digress.  Another example would be we remembered something being really exciting or big in our younger years then as adults we see it and realize we were fooled.  Ah, to be a kid again.

With the little research I’ve conducted regarding the Mandela Effect, I’m only seeing it’s changing in different forms of media, such as a TV show or newspaper, which makes me think of George Orwell’s 1984.  In the book, Big Brother changes reality by having workers alter the past newspapers and other items, giving false facts. They change and re-change these facts over time.  With that much change who can remember what really happened?  Here is a little clip of the movie but if you haven’t read 1984 you should. It’s even on audio book for those of you who can’t read.

This is what I think the Mandela Effect is: SOMETHING happened in reality and now people are changing the record of the event and we are forced to remember it differently.  This would include changing the spelling from Berenstein Bears to Berenstain Bears.  Technology is amazing these days, while watching The Titanic I really thought I was watching real people on a cruise ship, but it was all fake,  all technology.  It seems most people can alter media pretty easy these days, for example, did you ever see people’s tinder profile pictures?  All of them have been altered to fit their needs. I digress once again.  I believe that with the ease of altering digital media, said media has become a playground for the Mandela Effect.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that much time to alter the past or the desire to. Who does?  However, it seems many people do as there are several examples of it out on the interwebs.  Is Big Brother doing it? Maybe some teenage kids with time on their hands since they don’t play outside anymore? Maybe it’s some corporate conglomerate bringing us to such confusion that we will believe anything and accept their notions that they don’t over-charge us on everything.  Or maybe there is a secret society that has decided our world needs morals and they are changing history to make us a better human society?

Hmmmm, I’m going with corporate conglomerates or teenagers.  I must mention that it is thought that the Mandela Effect is created by parallel universes mixing with one another.  Hogwash.  The only thing mixing is my drink…. or is it drank?

 

Oh Snap

74 to 54.

Predictions:

UVa is gonna fire their head coach.

UMBC’s head coach is a RED HOT commodity as of about an hour ago.

There have been some close calls before, but never (never ever ever never ever) has a number 16 seed knocked off a number 1. Ever. A few 15/2 matchups have gone to the 15, so any statistician could promise you that one day, somewhere, a 16 was gonna bounce a 1, but. UVa wasn’t just a 1 seed, they were THE 1 SEED. Number Uno in the whole nation, the cream of the crop, the best team from sea to shining sea… and they got PULVERIZED by a team that 99% of the country had never heard of in front of God and everybody on National Television.

20 points. They lost by 20 fucking points. That, friends and neighbors is a B L O W O U T.

Also, RIP every bracket in the universe.

That time of year

The annual madness that we refer to as “The Holidays” is here. Endure, my friends, endure.

In the meantime:

Life lessons with Sarah62

Sarah62,  a social broadcaster, has given the world her life lessons.  After multiple DUIs, she learned this in a mandatory class as part of her probation.  Too bad she didn’t learn this earlier.

Paying bills are grown up problems.

Sarah62, a social broadcaster, has decided that responsibility is too much.

Earlier this year Sarah was jailed for a second (or maybe it was her 3rd) DUI. She sat in jail for a few weeks.  I don’t actually know how long it was and I don’t care; it’s not important in my opinion.  When she got out of jail she had some responsibilities. What a concept.  An adult having responsibilities?  Wow this is shocking news!

Apparently she doesn’t like having to pay bills or the fees associated with a DUI.  She also doesn’t like being on probation or having the government do their jobs like trying to keep the streets safe from drunken fools.  Speaking of fools, I don’t think Sarah knows how alcohol works.  She doesn’t realize that alcohol on the breath means its in the blood stream because she keeps saying it was on her breath.  Does she think it just stays in her mouth? Does she think it stays in her lungs only?

Someone very smart once told me “most of the population has a low IQ.”  Good luck in life Sarah. If sitting in jail is easier than responsibilities maybe you should just stay there.

In the event anyone was worried about her going back to jail, she didn’t. She’s been too busy posting photos of her boobs on facebook.

 

Saturday Night Wrestling

Who knew Saturday Night wrestling was alive in small town America much less Vaughnlive.

Apparently before WWE (or whatever it’s called these days) people in small towns all across America watched wrestling.  What’s shocking is that after the invention of real fighting such as boxing and MMA people still watch wrestling!

I was bored one Saturday night and happened on Vaughnlive, a social broadcasting site, and witnessed real wrestling, the fake kind of course!  Since I’m not into fake cat fighting and I’m not into girls I looked into the audience to see what types of people were there watching this teenage wet dream debacle.  I was not surprised, a bunch of men and maybe a few lesbians.  Maybe they thought it was mud wrestling?  Do they even do mud wrestling anymore?  I digress.

Bottom line guys: go to the strip club.  The girls show more and if it’s a trashy place they might touch you.

 

Random thoughts

Pretzels. Why are they SO fucking addictive?

Turnip Greens. A strange name for what may be the best effects pedal in history.

Hooverphonic. The best band in the world you are not listening to.

Rule Seven. Why do some of you keep breaking it?

Psychology. Arguably the greatest scam EVER.

5.56×45 vs 7.62×51. This is such a no-brainer. Yet another bad decision made by Robert McNamara that we still have to live with.

 

 

Buffoonery

Getting old sucks. For most people your body rejects your normal functions.  Many find they can’t drink coffee anymore or eat pizza like they used to.  When one wakes up their body aches and muscles are stiff.  Oh and I almost forgot the need to urinate all the time. Sleep habits are totally messed up and sometimes gaining weight is easier than breathing.  Let’s not forget about the multiple medications and vitamins that are required by the doctors and pharmaceutical companies.  I keep saying the word forget, oh yeah, we forget things as we get older.

I hate the idea of getting old.  To clarify, I don’t fear death but the process of my body getting closer to death is what I fear.  This fear has brought me to my current stance on getting old.  I believe when one reaches a certain age we should get a card from the government that states we can receive certain pharmaceuticals.  Think about it, when we reach a certain age we are allowed to drive legally.  We get a little older then we can drink legally.  What happens after that?  From what I’ve seen all we get after that is a discount on food and certain things when we look old enough to pass for a senior citizen.  There is a lot of time between drinking age and becoming a senior citizen!  This is where my idea comes into play.  Let’s say at 55, sounds like a good age, you get a card that allows you to get weed for free.  Even the drug dealers on the corner have to respect the card and give you weed for free.  Yes, this is stupid but you are going to keep reading because you have become intrigued.  Then at 65 you get another card that still allows weed but maybe you can have LSD.  Again, even your local street dealer has to respect the card and just hand it over to you. When reaching 70 and up you get new cards that allow more serious drugs.  My idea is still in it’s infancy and the entire idea is all buffoonery but lets keep going.  At 70, now many are retiring, if they give up their drivers license and car they get straight up coke.  Their only means of transportation is a bicycle and a skateboard.  Imagine a bunch of 70 year old people riding bikes on coke.  As people age closer to 80 and 90 they should get a card for heroin and other hard pharmaceuticals.

Think about it, if you are 80 and high on heroin you won’t care if you pooped your pants because your body hates you drinking coffee.  You won’t care if your bones crack as you fall out of your chair.  You won’t care if you lost your false teeth, or your kids or grand-kids don’t come to visit.

Buffoonery is a good word for this post.  I hope you all got a laugh out of it.

Battle of the Network Stars Fail

While watching TV this past weekend I saw a commercial for the new Battle of the Network Stars.  I was excited to tune in; I watched this as a kid and enjoyed watching all my favorite actors and actresses battle it out in different competitions.  I especially liked the dunk tank because who doesn’t?  Back then I watched the original Wonder Woman Linda Carter, Michael J. Fox of Family Ties, Tony Danza of Who’s the Boss, and Lisa Welchel of Facts of Life who during that time were stars on high ranking TV shows.

So tonight I tuned in with hopes of seeing anyone from The Walking Dead (yes I was hoping to see Daryl kick some ass), Better Call Saul, Black-ish, Pretty Little Liars, American Horror Story just to name a few.  I was expecting to see a few from reality TV show contestants as a few of those peope have turned their 15 minutes of fame into stardom.  I was even expecting to see a Kardashian or two cause lets face it, I can’t watch anything without hearing or seeing them.  I was disappointed, no Daryl.  Not even a Kardashian, just a few old 80s-ish actors.  If I didn’t have pains in my body I would think I was a kid again.  The only thing I found of interest was Rhonda Rousey was a team captain.  So this is what she’s doing now team captain of a crappy television show?

Will I tune in next week to see Variety shows vs TV Sex Symbols?  I’m pretty sure I will as I am good at couch potato-ing.