We’ve all heard fish stories. Someone went fishing and caught a fish, and that fish increases in size each time the fisherman (fisher-person?) tells the story about the catch.

Kookie Shitlips, resident crazy person of Ivlog, is spinning her fish story even as I type this post. This afternoon, Kookie stated that she had approached an art gallery with an idea. She talked about taking screen caps of some comments concerning her, “scribbling” on them, thereby transforming these posts into art and having a one woman exhibition of … whatever. Art, it ain’t. She said the mythological dealer of art was interested in this idea and after a pregnant pause, Shitlips added she was going to be paid. More about “being paid” later in this post.

That keen legal maven, Candy Rayne, playing her role of enabler of the demented, advised Kookie that by virtue of scribbling on these screen shots, they would then become Kookie’s intellectual property. Kookie cackled about wanting to be sued by the authors of the scribbled upon posts (sued for precisely what, she did not say) as that would require said plaintiffs to identify themselves in the forthcoming fantasy legal proceedings. In other words, a typical Kookie fantasy wherein she conjures up amazing plots so she can be the heroine and vanquish all who stand before her.

This evening, the story, much like that fish, had grown considerably. By 11pm, the story was that an art gallery had approached her with this idea. Now that makes NO effing sense at all for at least two very good reasons. First, exactly how would this phantasmagorical art dealer know anything about Shitlip’s experiences on the internet, and secondly, why in the name of Blue Jesus would he then advise the Bag Lady of Ivlog to “scribble” on screen shots of which he has no knowledge?

As the witching hour approached, one art dealer became TWO art dealers. Yes, apparently the Art World of New York City is beating a path to the rent-controlled walk-up that is the abode of Kookie, and they come waving money. I said I would get back around to “being paid”. Art galleries work on consignment sales, Kookster. NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY YOU A DIME FOR A COPY OF A SCREEN CAPTURE THAT YOU HAVE DRAWN SOME LINES ON. Sadly, I have actually seen some of her “art work” and… well, it’s easier to show it than attempt to describe it. It is about at the level of a child with their very first box of crayons.

On the one hand, it is entertaining watching her lunacy from a front row seat, on the other hand, it is kinda sad watching her lunacy from a front row seat.

Sure, it isn’t a movie, but it does make me cry.

Laughing until you cry counts, right?

It is apparent that someone has pointed out this fabulous blog to the vile and execrable Kookie Shitlips. Of course, Kookie is “disturbed“, so it is in her nature to point out a couple of posts we have made concerning her. She typed in the urls of two posts (her catfish experience with the mysterious Tripcode and a post concerning her usage of RevolverMaps) into the scrolling chat description window above the chat area. One aspect of her scrolling message does puzzle me mightily. Who the fuck is Voltaire?

Now I am going to go well out on a limb here and make an assumption. I am ASSUMING that Cookie is not referring to the historical personage known as “Voltaire” (real name: François-Marie Arouet), but is instead referring to some chat room wag who uses Voltaire as a user ID. This is not a safe assumption on my part. Given this antediluvian harridan’s grandiose delusions, she may actually believe that Voltaire is alive, well, and writing about her.

In any event, “Voltaire” is not a name that myself or Cocoa has ever used on any social broadcasting site. PremiumHogwash is now and has always been authored by myself and the esteemed Cocoa Black, and neither of us are fans of the cheese eating surrender monkeys. Any attempt by Kookie to credit this blog to Voltaire is purely the result of an Elavil induced psychosis.

A picture is worth 1000 words, so I’ll let this screen cap taken at 5AM (10AM Cr3am time, in other words mid-morning) speak for itself.

So I am chit chatting and

Not exactly how the shit is supposed to work, Mr Cram.

I did something this morning that I haven’t done in quite some time.  I logged into Ivlog.  I noticed a new name on the main page.  It was a new name, no photo had a few viewers.  I clicked it, going into a new room is always exciting!  It’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get! This was not my favorite chocolate that’s for sure! I thought for a bit that Ivlog had turned into the newest porn site for live viewers but I was wrong.

For those of you who love chocolate:

I have a little game I like to play. It’s called “Can I get Cookie Shitlips to ban me with just one post”.

I have been playing this game for some time, and as with any great endeavor, I seem to go in streaks. Right now, I am on a fucking tear. Over the weekend I got booted out of her channel 3 times on as many posts. In this game, that is counted as a Flawless Victory.

A year or so ago, Yetta was obviously on some sort of mood management medication, or maybe it was just some hog tranquilizers, because I could not BUY a boot out of her channel on VL. I was, needless to say, quite depressed. I stood in front of a mirror and berated myself for a lack of skill, talent and imagination. Happily for me, after awhile her meds ran out and she was back to being the irritable termagant with the eggshell ego that we all know and despise.

She is apparently back in a manic phase right now, so I would encourage both readers of this fabulous blog to pay a visit to her channel on CrAm’s website and rattle her cage. Just take a few moments to listen to whatever she is droning on about, then flatly contradict her (bonus points for using “tripcode” in your post) and see if you too can piss her off badly enough to pop you after 1 post.

Well, things are not lookin’ too good over on Camup.TV, where you are about to pay to play.

https://www.camup.tv/features

Starting in June, you gotta come off the hip to the tune of $30 a year if you want anything over and above a stream key. This is a pretty big change for CamUp, and I have to wonder if this change was influenced by the sudden influx of rats broadcasters leaving that shithole site based in Tennessee. This idea of charging people may be backfiring, as I have noticed some channels that were there are suddenly going missing… almost as if they have decided that if they have to pay, they need a site that actually works (more about that shortly).

Live internet broadcasters generally do this shit for fun, until they get on Youtube or Twitch and either have big ol’ titties or content so compelling that they begin to make real money from their broadcasts. On Camup, Ivlog, YawnLive, etc., it’s purely amateur hour. NO ONE is making a dime off their shows, so having to pay to broadcast doesn’t make much sense, unless you really like the site and feel like helping them out with beer money and such. Charging broadcasters, the people that actually provide the content of your website, generally encourages them to do one thing: migrate. They load up the wagon and move to greener (cheaper) pastures and then site owners sit around, scratching their hefty posteriors and wonder where all that traffic went.

Now getting back to CamUp, one of the things you will be paying for (assuming you care to stay & pay) are the guest cams. If you have been to CamUp, you already know where this is going. The guest cams on CamUp are so incredibly flaky, so twitchy, so unpredictable, so unreliable, so frustrating, that Dixie is in for some very unpleasant times when people who have paid money for the feature find that said feature simply does not work …. 80% of the time? 90%? Seriously. I used to do regular shows over there until I grew weary of the inability of the administrator to correct issues, acknowledge issues, own up to mistakes, etc. It was, in point of fact, way too much like dealing with Mark Vaughn. The guest cams were the source of almost all of my in-show complaints.

Dixie’s idea of fixing any issue is to tell you to clear your cache. Apparently, every CamUp user’s cache is infested by demons/aliens who are causing shit not to work and you need to clear that damn cache out, then everything will be fine. This is a theory on my part, but I suspect that telling paying customers to clear their cache is gonna go over like a big ol’ green turd in a pickle jar.

Dixie, when your site was free and people supported you (like I did) because they wanted to, if your shit didn’t work, well, the site was free and we were getting what we paid for. You are fixing to start taking people’s money very soon, and you had best up your game, or you are gonna be returning that money hand over fist.

WHAT IF… Twiggy had been born in Ireland as a male.

Well, this one is easy. Twiggy as a male would be that parasite widely known as Ireland’s Patriot. Yes, the human stick figure with the incredible hydrocephalic noggin and the somewhat over-exaggerated opinion of himself (and by “somewhat”, I mean “infinitely”) is obviously the male Irish Twiggy. The resemblance is nothing short of remarkable.

Ireland’s Pissant has been hanging out in the live chat on the UKMuppets carrying on deep and meaningful conversations with himself, as is his wont. He vomited up these pearls just a short time ago:

I have no idea who “Junior” is, but seriously, NO ONE on the planet is going to walk the other way when they see the scrawny apparition that is Ireland’s Patriot. The Pissant rambles on about old people and how they all hate him (pssssst, shit head, everyone hates you. That club is open to all applicants. No age restrictions apply) and they are all anons and old and also they are old. It seems blimp-head has a thing about age. I think he hates his mother and this is his way of expressing it.

Remember this one? Mommy makes IP cry, cry like a wee lass, as they say in the Land of Lucky Charms.

When called out about her doxing on the JTV chatango shoutbox, first she lied, then she gave excuses, then she asked the peanut gallery if they wanted my IP address.

What a fucking asshole.

The porcine New Zealander denied breaking the only rule of McGregor’s shoutbox. When confronted with a screencap of her guilt, she then argued that what she did was alright because it had been done on battlecam and facebook already. When it was pointed out to her that what was posted elsewhere had no bearing on what she posted in the shoutbox, she then said it was alright because it was someone’s arrest record.

When I refused to roll over and demanded that she remove herself from the chatbox, she then offered up my IP address to the assembled anons, thereby demonstrating a continued willingness to keep on doxing.

Slaya, you are an unmitigated, dyed-in-the-wool, pure ASSHOLE. You are a liar, a hypocrite, you are a wannabe Scruffy, abusing your moderator status in McGregor’s chatbox.

Rest assured, if the opportunity ever comes my way for payback, it will be delivered with interest.

Animal Farm was required reading in the sixth grade, and there is a very famous line in the final chapter: ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL. BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.

In yet another example of how life imitates art, a moderator on the JTV Shoutbox broke the one and only rule of the JTV Shoutbox, and is going to get away with it.

I have no doubt she will find it in her heart to forgive herself.

First, Scruffy announced her imminent departure (and there was much rejoicing):

Now it would appear that whatever Scruffy has (Hashbrown Syndrome or Australian Crotch Rot or some other exotic disorder) has been contracted by her progeny, the obese coder himself, GoutBoy.

Yes, GoutBoy is in “horrific fucking pain”, which is one level above “ouchy booboo pain”. In point of fact, GoutBoy says that he feels like “someone is shoving a railroad spike into my ear”. I suspect there is no shortage of volunteers for the position of Railroad Spike Shover. I’m not doing anything this weekend, so if those parties currently doing the railroad spike shoving need a break, please let me know in the comment section and I shall be on the way in short order.

Bon Voyage, GoutBoy. The road to hell is paved in railroad spikes.

Survival of the fittest.

Seen in the jtv chatroom: “Thanks to Scruffy, Ivlog is now a decent site.”

Obviously, the word “decent” is open to interpretation, but if, as I suspect, the commenter was referring to the number of active channels that can be viewed on Ivlog, then yeah.

Just as VL owed it’s success to JTV and BlogTV shutting down in rapid succession, Ivlog and even Camup.tv are experiencing growth due to the repeated self-inflicted injuries that VL absolutely excels at. Between the hapless befuddlement of Goutboy and the malignant psychosis of his mommy (who is STILL NOT DEAD), people have simply stopped frequenting The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet. The live content creators have caught on to the phony viewer counts that Goutboy had to implement when Psycho Momma won her campaign to cut off guest chat, so they are looking for greener internet pastures and are taking their audiences with them.

In effect, VL is shutting down it’s People Section and will rely solely on the TV rerun/old film streamers in the miscellaneous section. The page views generated there will likely keep Goutboy in Skittles and Grape Drink, but the active social caster scene has already sailed to Twitch, Youtube, Ivlog and Camup. Hell, even Stream.me is doing better than VL. So much for Goutboy’s speech about “I believe the future of the internet is in social broadcasting”.

VL failed solely because of Patricia Lynn Vaughn and her desperate need to control, control, control.

The fit go on, the unfit become part of the fossil record.

Well, I wonder what is really going on? It’s Wednesday and there is still a popup proclaiming…. what? Men at work?

Please bear with us as our contractor middle eastern web hosts do stuff that we completely do not understand. Keep up the brilliant work, Cram.

So I am sitting in a friend’s channel on Tuesday night and at 9:00PM eastern time *blip*… the entire site is gone. Nothing works, nothing will load, the only thing anyone gets is INVALID CERTIFICATE errors.

It seems that someone forgot to do a little bit of housekeeping. The FIRST story given on the community chat feature was “the SSL certificate was supposed to expire tomorrow night” but apparently someone(s) got the dates a little bit wrong.

Later, we got this version of events:

Come on people, I’m old!  I needs my sleep!  You all should cast during normal hours so I can watch!

Recently I was told there aren’t many posts regarding the social broadcasting sites on this blog which I have been tasked to write.  This is true because I thought most people, the entertaining people, were casting after I went to bed.  Hey, it’s tiring work waiting for a government check!  I digress.

Last Sunday morning I happened to wake at 3am as my hairy beast was being needy. (That’s a different story I will share at a different time maybe.)  While waiting for said hairy beast I thought I would check out the broadcasting sites.  I discovered something: I was wrong. Please feel free to mark this date, on whatever device you use to remind you of things, that Cocoa was wrong. I thought all the good entertaining casters were casting while I slept.  The only caster I found was Jenah the catfish.  As I sat there, half asleep, listening to her and some of her friends ramble on I wondered why is this entertaining?  I then thought why am I wasting my time with this nonsense? I then went to bed.

As I type this now I realize that maybe the good casters received an alert that I was awake and abruptly stopped their casts, thereby forcing me to admit that I was wrong. The shame is that I wasn’t entertained at 3 am, even worse, the group coalition was against me being right.

Whatever the case, this is what I wasted my time for at 3am while waiting for my hairy beast.  I have no idea what she and her friends were going on about and I don’t care.

Out with the old in with the new, maybe.  I’ve been looking for ways to amp up my broadcasts as sometimes I find that I bore myself.  It’s pretty bad when one bores oneself!

I decided to do what most people do and try to copycat what others do.  I did a little research as to what brings in the viewers. I viewed my normal sites such as Ivlog, CamUp, and Vaughn. I’m not sure why that is one of my regulars, bad habits are hard to break I guess!  I then checked out Twitch and StreamMe.  I feel weird looking at YouNow because it appears to be a bunch of children and I’m not trying to get myself into trouble.

It appears broadcasting video games is the way to go.  Look at the amount of viewers! Almost 50K??  Wow people love games!  This is unfortunate because I’m terrible at video games.  If I had to play and win a video game to save my life you might as well be prepared to attend my funeral.  Imagine the obituary, death by lack of video games.

There are a few other ideas that come to mind such as being a full on internet DJ, broadcast movies or news, create things, or drama.  Can I bring myself to be a real internet DJ?  Fuck no, ain’t no body got time for that.  While waiting for my government check to come in I still have responsibilities like watch the neighborhood.  I have diligent notes to take regarding the comings and goings of the neighbors.  I mean that day Mrs. Ruth’s husband came home early, whew that was a close one for her boy toy to leave out the back door!

Can I rebroadcast movies or news?  Sure I can do that, but then you have make sure you are entertaining everyone.  There is always that one person who complains about whatever you are playing, right Handsome Mork????? (Yeah, I’m looking at you.)  In regards to rebroadcasting the news, well that creates drama because everyone has their own views on politics and most people on the internet can’t accept people having different opinions.  Besides, the news is depressing and I would rather watch cat videos.

Can I create things?  Let me think about this… I can create poop, food and mucus. Man can I create some mucus; my nose has been going crazy lately.  My allergies are out of control!!  I don’t think people would want to watch me blow my nose or have snot running out of my nose all day.  I didn’t see that once on any of my research.  It’s either trendsetting idea or a terrible idea.  I digress.  Am I creator?  I’m a creator of a lot of things but nothing extraordinary that people would want to watch.

Can I create drama?  Yes I can create drama but that too is a lot of work that I don’t have time for.  Maybe I will cast the Ruth Family’s house as I have put a few cameras in their house. Don’t judge me!

I did come across Watch My Plants Grow and found this interesting.  Not entertaining, but interesting.  I thought at first it was going to be in fast forward but it wasn’t.  The cast is just watching some plants do what they do.  Which is nothing in a matter of minutes or hours.

I will continue to bore myself and my few wonderful regulars who come to entertain me and keep me company while the Ruth’s are out on their regular date night.  A new family moved in a few houses down, The Browns, I believe they will be entertaining as the police were there this morning.

I’ve heard and known about this Bubbaganoosh person for years, it wasn’t until today that I finally listened to him.  Bubba has been a social broadcaster for years and is supposed to be popular. I tried to find him on Wikipedia and have concluded that he is not popular enough to make that site so therefore he isn’t popular.

Actually, I never saw the appeal of him. In fact, all I ever saw was an alien talking gibberish when I would watch him.  I could never stay in his broadcast for more than five minutes and was forced to leave because I was either scared of his alien-like features or wondering if he was sick.  It seems he might be sick, he talks of smoking weed and yet he is so skinny it’s frightening.  If he’s not sick and he has a fast metabolism I am jealous!  Imagine how much pizza and pasta I could eat with that metabolism!  If he is sick, I hope he gets better.  (I do have a heart!)

This Bubba person is apparently from Nashville and can speak very fast to the point that I have no idea what he is saying, maybe he is mumbling and I just don’t understand.  Whatever the case, I don’t care.

Today I parked it in his room while he was broadcasting on Ivlog.tv.  He was doing an audio only broadcast. This is where there is no video feed, hence “audio only.”  If you don’t understand this I can’t help you and I don’t want to help you.

Without seeing his face I could actually listen to Bubba and some of the things he said made sense to me.  Apparently he is the child of bad parents and talks a good game about his own parenting to his kids.  I don’t know if he is a good parent or not, but I do know I don’t care and I’m sure he doesn’t care if I care.

As I was perusing around the social broadcasting sites I felt an obligation to view Vaughlive.tv.  I’m not sure why I did this, but today it proved fruitful.

I’ve known about BeninOhio for a few years now. Due to our first interaction with one another on Vaughnlive being a little weird, I’ve kept my distance from Ben because I find him a little creepy.

Today I saw him casting on the main screen. Yes, he is the top dog at Vaughnlive.tv.  Cheers to you Vaughn! Then I noticed something a bit odd so I investigated a little further.

Apparently the cool thing to do is let everyone know your schedule.  I found this weird because someone might want to come in and steal the cot-like bed he has!  Actually I was and am still a little confused about why one would put their schedule on blast for everyone to know.  It seems Ben has some health issues that he wants people to know about.  He also has his paypal account information online so you can send him some money and he has an amazon wish list posted.  I’m still scratching my head over the entire situation going on with Ben. I don’t get it Ben and I don’t care.

While I was in a state of confusion he did give a little live lesson which I found hysterically funny.

Enjoy.

It’s been brought to my attention that I must stop living my jet setter life and get back to business by typing up a blog post or two.  I’m sure no one has missed me while I’ve been traveling the world.  Actually, if you must know, I’ve been traveling via Google Earth.  People have decided I’m crazy by visiting many places and as I started to notice all the blurred out faces and no one would talk to me while I walked in the streets, maybe I am crazy and need to change my medications. I digress. Yes, I’ve been away from social broadcasting for a bit. It hasn’t appealed to me lately, with all the train wrecks gone I’ve had nothing to remind me of how good my life is.

Handsome Mork has graciously kicked me in the dick in order to get my head out of my ass so here I am, catching up with the social broadcasting sites.  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I mean the kick in the dick to remove my head from my ass was good.  How is one supposed to breathe with their head up their ass? I re-digress.

In my absence I’ve noticed that Bubbaganoosh, Adambro, JessicaluvsJesus, AllSeeingEye, UnitedAmerican, Realman, Hardwood,and a few others moved over onto Ivlog.tv.  I’ve also noticed that the DogPound has moved to CamUp.tv.  With this movement I wondered who was over on Vaughnlive.tv.  The pickings were slim there to begin but damn, who is casting there now?

It appears Adambro is double dipping; he was casting at both Ivlog and Vaughn at the same time.  He did explain how this was possible, but why?  For a total view count of 20? I don’t get it. Why do a multiple stream?  I think to myself, ‘Obviously Adam either needs a lot of attention or he’s dedicated to casting more than the average Cocoa Black.’  (One should know Cocoa Black is anything but average.)

While I was in Adam’s room at Ivlog he did catch me up to speed with what’s going on.  (Insert drum roll) Apparently everyone is moving to Ivlog.  WHAT???!!!!????  This is what I’ve missed in the past few months?  People have finally had enough of one website and moved over to a different website?  I am so let down that nothing has happened in the lives of social broadcasters except that they moved from one site to another site.  Didn’t this happen when Blogtv shut down? Everyone moved?  Also it happened when Justintv shut down, and yet no one has changed.  I guess it’s true, a tiger can’t change it’s stripes, just where he broadcasts.  Adam also gave a few personal opinions on casters which is always fun to hear.

In the end, nothing is new, the same social broadcasters that I’m familiar with are just as boring as ever.  I need to find  a few more sites to bore myself with.  If anyone knows of new sites please let me know in the comments.  Please put your favorite social broadcasters in the comments below.

Thank you and have a wonderful boring day.

Once again, I have been contacted by a friend who is on the inept IVLOG.TV website regarding a particular broadcaster’s usage of the revolvermaps IP tracking widget.

First, let me give you some background. Revolvermaps is a “service” that not only tracks site/channel visitors, it also uses this tracking widget to place a unique id on your browser in order to track it EVERYWHERE, thereby building a profile on every individual who is tracked in order to sell their browsing habits and history to advertisers and …. Well, who knows what else they do with it. In any event, the potential for abuse is virtually unlimited (It is worth mentioning that revolvermaps is far from the only company doing this; the big players are facebook and google and why you people use that shit, I will never understand).

Getting back to the subject of this post, some asshat showed that mentally unstable harridan from New York City, the vile and execrable Cookie Shitlips (aka Yetta Telebenda), what revolvermaps is and how to install it. Cookie, being the unwise cretin that she is, added it to her channel and now likes to greet guests as they enter her chat by calling out the guest’s ID number and telling the viewers in her channel where they are from. I have some points I want to make right away.

• The accuracy of revolvermaps is variable. Sometimes it is very good, other times it is significantly incorrect. The accuracy is dependent on numerous variables and is beyond the scope of this article.
• Obviously, a proxy IP will utterly defeat the utility of revolvermaps.
• Anyone with a scintilla of sense, an iota of intelligence, a single functioning brain cell would keep this information to themselves and not tip their hand. In Cookie’s case, her mental illness overrides all other considerations and she simply cannot help but show off for her audience as she pretends to omniscience. Cookie is and always will be her own worse enemy.

Revolvermaps will always be a threat on Ivlog.tv, as paranoia is part of that site’s DNA. Steven Jones and his asshole buddies who started the site have always been very concerned with WHO YOU ARE when you enter their individual channels. This was true in the days of BlogTV, it is still true now. Interestingly enough, that sewer known as Vaughnlive does not allow for IP trackers at all – at least on the part of their broadcasters. No sir, the only people who can see IPs on Vaughnlive are the people that run the site (this may be the perfect definition of “cold comfort”).

Stopping revolvermaps is literally child’s play. I will assume you already have Adblock Plus or Adblock Latitude installed as a browser add-on. If you don’t, then what the fuck is wrong with you? Get with the program, skippy. Simply click on the drop down menu arrow of Adblock and click on “Filter Preferences”

Now click on the “Add Filter” Button.

When the Filter Rule opens a blank box, type in /.revolvermaps.com/

You can then close Adblocker. Test your addition of this new rule by going to the revolvermaps website. If you were successful, you will not see any of their widgets being displayed. This means they cannot load in your browser, or in technical terms, they be shit outta luck.

You will now be able to enter that vile old woman’s channel and loudly demand that she tell one and all where you are from. She will make a few faces and then ban you, because she does not do frustration gracefully. With any luck, you may induce a cerebral event.

Party on, Wayne.

(Credit for screen cap and original story to UKMuppets)

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Oh what a world, what a world. Who could have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness.”

A very dramatic scene it was, our young heroine from Kansas dousing the evil wicked witch with a handy bucket of water and removing her from the Land of Oz. I leave it to the reader to ponder the wisdom of the witch, leaving buckets of water scattered around where any young wench could wield them in so devastating a fashion.

In a similar dramatic vein, the Actual Owner of The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet has seen fit to announce her imminent departure from her very own Land of Oz. Let me just go right on ahead and toss my opinion of her post in the chat right here: it’s BULLSHIT. Everything this woman has ever done or ever said on that crap website of hers has been a lie. I see no reason to view this any differently.

The Queen of Mercury had her employee (Goutboy, the world’s greatest coding genius) turn off guest chat, thereby lowering the number of viewers that would parade through her channels (and they are HER channels, every last goddamned one of them) seeking to curry favor with her, kow-towing, kissing her cellulite mottled ass cheeks and generally demonstrating their spinelessness. So what does a drama queen do when the audience begins to get thin? The drama queen goes over the top.

“I am dying”

From a philosophical and linguistic vantage point, everything begins to die from the moment of its creation, but I will bet my last pair of socks that is not what this vile and loathsome woman is trying to make people think. This is a ploy, a stunt, another in a very long line of scams being run out by a self-confessed troll who is looking to shock and then elicit sympathy from the pathetic imbeciles that still use that pig sty of a web site.

“I am dying”

No where near fast enough.

So apparently the one true sewer of social broadcasting has disappeared from the internet and conflicting stories are flying fast and furious.

Battlecam simply is “not” right now. No pages will load, no word on their fakebook or twitter sites as to their status, nothing but rumors and a bunch of assholes on Tinychat all trying to talk over one another. Finding out any factual information right now is an almost Herculean task, but I will share with you what I have HEARD, making it very clear that this is all unsubstantiated noise from various corners of the internet.

Rumor One: Battlecam is done. It’s gone the way of Yahoo Live, BlogTV, JTV, etc. If this rumor does turn out to be true, then some exceptionally nasty internet psychos will be looking around for a new site to spew their seemingly limitless supply of bile at anyone who stumbles across them. Whether you loved Battlecam or hated it, it did serve the function of zookeeper for some very wild animals.

Rumor Two: Battlecam is undergoing a total renovation. The software is being totally re-written to be HTML5 compliant, and the BC ownership is contracting with a new company for improved server support. In other words, Battlecam 2.0 will be rolling out and it will run better than ever due to upgrades to all facets of its construction. I liken this to brand new federally funded housing projects: “Look Martha, brand new slums! Aren’t they nice?”

Rumor Three: Battlecam is down, Goutboy is offering Hairy Ballsack (or however he spells his name) a position on Possibly The Biggest Steaming Pile Of Horseshit On The Internet a position as an administrator. This one is just laugh-out-loud funny. Mommy will never allow anyone she isn’t breast feeding to have any sort of authority on her website.

So in summary, this is what I DON’T know. Time will tell.