Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Hair!

During my escapades of traveling the world I found the perfect gadget for my furball problems. For those of you who are not familiar with me, I am a furry beast. I live with many furry beasts. Not the dress up like a furry animal for sexual delight kind of furry, rather we (myself and the creatures who live in this shack) are all very hairy.

Due to all the hair in this tenement I have already posted about a great gadget for my hair clogged drains. Today is about another little gadget for all the hair on my clothes! I didn’t realize how much hair was on my clothes and my laundry until I was using a hand towel in a hotel. I was using said towel and noticed I wasn’t dodging hair on the hand towel to put my contact lenses in. That’s when I realized the hair issue has gotten out of control in my shedio.

While in Malaysia I found this little product. I didn’t realize hair was such a global issue since that isn’t discussed on the world news. I guess the news doesn’t report everything and they really do focus on what they want to report (go figure). I don’t know the name of this product so I will call it “Hair Catching Thingy”. This gadget is some type of foam flower attached to a little net. It works with a top loader washing machine only. The foam flower floats around catching all the hair, miscellaneous trash, and anything else that floats on the top of the water while laundering. I know, you are wondering what trash is in my laundry. Hey when laundering fake money some of the paper isn’t the best and comes apart aka trash. I decided to test it out and my first few times weren’t successful.

I decided to see if it really works and put the dog’s blanket in the washer. I also put my laundry machine on a different setting as I have one of those new water saving laundry machines. I was able to get a little more water in the machine thus allowing the flower to float on the water. On a side note, I hate the water saving laundry machine.

Wow was that dog blanket full of hair! So I would say the product works if you have enough water to allow this gadget to float.

  • Hello. I am full of hair.

On a side note there are a few nifty things you should know about this product, not only does it catch hair but in the event of a flood, the little net will work as a fishing net. The fish will be little so you might have to catch 350 tiny fish in order to get a real meal. The warning label reads not to eat the foam with tide pods as it will become explosive in your smaller intestine. I’m not really sure how they concluded that it makes it to one’s small intestine before it explodes but I will not be experimenting with tide pods anytime soon. The warning also reads it is not a flotation device, instead in the event of a flooding emergency grab a lemon or lime.

The hair catcher 5000 comes in blue and pink. This is what it looks like. 


This is an example of it not working.  Only one hair!

Pleather

For some reason, It seems that Under Teleblunder likes to “fart into pleather”. I had to look up “pleather”, which seems to be the 21st century version of what us old folks used to call Naughahyde.

Now naughahyde was damned mysterious in and of itself back in the day. I have hunted many species of critter on the North American continent, but I had never heard of a Naugha; I assumed that it must have a splendid hide, so it was probably a domesticated animal, being raised on vast Naugha ranches, probably located in exotic locations, such as Wyoming or maybe the New Jersey Pine Barrens.

Some internet research reveals that “pleather” is a chemical product made from polyvinyl chloride. Yes, it is made from exactly the same stuff that all those white, gray, blue, green, black, etc. plumbing pipes are made from. And that was when the light came on: no wonder she farts into it, it’s her toilet drain pipe.

In other news, Cookie’s COTU has hit new heights, as she stormed out of Lizzy’s show because Lizzy wouldn’t cut guest chat off. Cookie has now announced (and channeled Miss Scruffy exceedingly well in the process) that she will no longer enter any channel that has guest chat on. The Grand Dame of Social Media stated that no rational broadcaster would ever consider doing a show with guest chat on. She seemed quite put out that just anyone could add to the conversation. She added that every guest was up to no good and they should just be banned. Of course, she was telling this to all the guests sitting in her channel watching her melt down.

But she is NOT mad.

Was it something I said?

Utter Telebutter has gotten big mad at me. I am talking full on screaming, howling, raving, barking at the moon mad. You see friends and neighbors, I am, in her own words, “less than an insect”, however I am also “very dangerous”. So dangerous that Fetta will now be leaving her tenement housing project via the garage. She has alerted the NYPD Internet Troll squad, the Federal IP Enforcement Unit, The Royal Canadian Mounted Packet Inspector Division and The Brooklyn Boy Scouts (can we still call them Boy Scouts?) of my presence on her channel and… boy do I feel sorry for whoever has to deal with her.

She has sworn a mighty oath, sealed by the Covenant of Moses (who she does in fact claim as an ancestor) that she will never again read a single word of this here useless blog, as it is beneath her notice, contempt, excrement, finger nail clippings, stained underwear… you name it.

I wish her well, but I fear that she will be unable to hold fast to her word. Below is a screen cap of November’s server logs – which is (at the moment of this writing) a bit less than 29 hours old.

83 Page views since yesterday

So good luck Yoda Telekubota. I will do what I can to help you avoid my miserable website which your immense, bloated ego has no further desire to see.

I get back to this…..

I must say I was a bit disappointed when she stated she bought a new toy and this was it.

I’ve been out of town, actually I’ve been stuck in a Guatemalan prison for reasons I can’t say at the moment. (When the press obtains the story I will give my story to Handsome Mork first then sell it to the press for one million dollars and attorney’s fees.)

I arrive back to Handsome Mork telling me that Cookie Lipshitz has actually found this blog. I couldn’t believe it, the blog has arrived (not really)! I checked out Cookie’s social media broadcast on Ivlog.tv tonight to hear her ramble on about bike lanes in New York City and thought of her in a police hat (it made me giggle), and then it happened. She mentioned the blog! Cookie, please, say the name of the blog, come on. If you are going to mention this blog, say the name of it. I would hate for others to think of a different blog, and they are out there aren’t they?

During my absence Handsome Mork wrote a post about revolver maps, which seems to be a widget to show where your IP address is physically located. Please see Handsome Mork’s post about revolver maps for all the details. It seems Cookie had revolver maps on her Ivlog page but due to a site policy change, no one on Ivlog is allowed to use IP trackers anymore. In the absence of said widget she bought herself a mini globe to tell her where all her viewers were viewing from. She also asked to have her photo taken so she can be on the blog. Ask and ye shall receive Cookie.

Fish Story

We’ve all heard fish stories. Someone went fishing and caught a fish, and that fish increases in size each time the fisherman (fisher-person?) tells the story about the catch.

Kookie Shitlips, resident crazy person of Ivlog, is spinning her fish story even as I type this post. This afternoon, Kookie stated that she had approached an art gallery with an idea. She talked about taking screen caps of some comments concerning her, “scribbling” on them, thereby transforming these posts into art and having a one woman exhibition of … whatever. Art, it ain’t. She said the mythological dealer of art was interested in this idea and after a pregnant pause, Shitlips added she was going to be paid. More about “being paid” later in this post.

That keen legal maven, Candy Rayne, playing her role of enabler of the demented, advised Kookie that by virtue of scribbling on these screen shots, they would then become Kookie’s intellectual property. Kookie cackled about wanting to be sued by the authors of the scribbled upon posts (sued for precisely what, she did not say) as that would require said plaintiffs to identify themselves in the forthcoming fantasy legal proceedings. In other words, a typical Kookie fantasy wherein she conjures up amazing plots so she can be the heroine and vanquish all who stand before her.

This evening, the story, much like that fish, had grown considerably. By 11pm, the story was that an art gallery had approached her with this idea. Now that makes NO effing sense at all for at least two very good reasons. First, exactly how would this phantasmagorical art dealer know anything about Shitlip’s experiences on the internet, and secondly, why in the name of Blue Jesus would he then advise the Bag Lady of Ivlog to “scribble” on screen shots of which he has no knowledge?

As the witching hour approached, one art dealer became TWO art dealers. Yes, apparently the Art World of New York City is beating a path to the rent-controlled walk-up that is the abode of Kookie, and they come waving money. I said I would get back around to “being paid”. Art galleries work on consignment sales, Kookster. NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY YOU A DIME FOR A COPY OF A SCREEN CAPTURE THAT YOU HAVE DRAWN SOME LINES ON. Sadly, I have actually seen some of her “art work” and… well, it’s easier to show it than attempt to describe it. It is about at the level of a child with their very first box of crayons.

Seriously, she calls this art.

On the one hand, it is entertaining watching her lunacy from a front row seat, on the other hand, it is kinda sad watching her lunacy from a front row seat.

Voltaire? Volare!

It is apparent that someone has pointed out this fabulous blog to the vile and execrable Kookie Shitlips. Of course, Kookie is “disturbed“, so it is in her nature to point out a couple of posts we have made concerning her. She typed in the urls of two posts (her catfish experience with the mysterious Tripcode and a post concerning her usage of RevolverMaps) into the scrolling chat description window above the chat area. One aspect of her scrolling message does puzzle me mightily. Who the fuck is Voltaire?

 

 

Now I am going to go well out on a limb here and make an assumption. I am ASSUMING that Cookie is not referring to the historical personage known as “Voltaire” (real name: François-Marie Arouet), but is instead referring to some chat room wag who uses Voltaire as a user ID. This is not a safe assumption on my part. Given this antediluvian harridan’s grandiose delusions, she may actually believe that Voltaire is alive, well, and writing about her.

In any event, “Voltaire” is not a name that myself or Cocoa has ever used on any social broadcasting site. PremiumHogwash is now and has always been authored by myself and the esteemed Cocoa Black, and neither of us are fans of the cheese eating surrender monkeys. Any attempt by Kookie to credit this blog to Voltaire is purely the result of an Elavil induced psychosis.

Hell Storm ’18 or Gone With the Wind part CLXXXII

That most dangerous of men, Matt Drudge, always refers to inbound hurricanes as “HELL STORM”, this time around he may be right.

North Carolina has had some bad luck with “F” hurricanes in the month of September, and it looks like another one is on its way. The European Weather models have been calling for Florence to hit the Carolinas for over a week now, and the GFS (the American model) has finally decided that uh… yeah, it looks like Florence is gonna hit the Carolinas.

Right now it looks like it will come ashore as a category 3 storm, which is bad enough, but the projections for rainfall are slam out of sight. This rain will be coming down in an area that has had a historically wet summer already.

Let me recommend that you get familiar with this guy sooner rather than later: https://www.wxrisk.com/(fakebook page is https://www.facebook.com/WxRisk and youtube channel is https://www.youtube.com/user/wxdave1, twitter is  https://twitter.com/wxriskcom). This guy KNOWS HIS SHIT.

Is this place dead or what?

Cocoa said she was gonna do a post about Youtube killing my last show… but she didn’t.

I was doing my usual Friday show thing, this time using Youtube (which, parenthetically speaking, used to have no issue with it – but times and rules change, eh?) and just after 2 hours they shut me down. I could read the chat and see people saying I had been shut down, but I couldn’t type anything at all so I had no way of telling everyone good night. I got an email later that night saying they shut me down because “Due to a copyright match, your stream was interrupted”. I am amused by this because I had been on for over 2 hours. So did the “copyright match” take place earlier and it took them some time to react, OR was the song that was playing at that exact moment trigger the match? Who knows. I do know that based on the experience of many other streamers, Youtube will never tell me. So anyway, I am crossing Youtube off the list of places to do a show.

Got an email concerning perpetual guest numbers on Ivlog. The emailer said that they have had the same guest number for the last 2 days. They said that they ran CCleaner, deleted their cookies and so on and so forth and still had the same guest number. I went to Ivlog and lo, the assigned number I got seemed to want to stick. I blew out all the ivlog cookies (there are several of them) and removed ivlog from my history, returned to ivlog and… same guest number. IP linked? So then I removed the cookies and history and waited until the next day to go back. Now I had a different guest number. The sad and tiny little fellow that runs Ivlog really really REALLY wants to know who everyone is that uses that site. Be aware that this change in assigning a guest number is probably not in your best interests.

Goutboy might be feeling some heat from a certain sports league. I went looking to see who was showing preseason NFL games on the Miscellaneous channel and lo, nary a game was to be found anywhere on the entire site. Interesting, very interesting as Arte Johnson used to say.

There was a spot of excitement on Twitter today as they were streaming a Madden ’19 tournament out of Jacksonville, Florida and some beta male took losing his round to heart and proceeded to shoot the venue up and then put one through his own head. Dear suicidal losers: PLEASE, make your last shot your first shot. Blow your own pathetic brains out before you shoot other people. Thank you. Invest in metal detector stocks now, because this guy has just given every business that caters to groups larger than two a reason to buy one. Every news site in the world linked to Twitter for the video of when the shooting started, so Twitter, in a moment of brilliant business insight, pulled the video down. No free advertising for you, come back, one year.

Be careful out there, people.

Cr3am the Nazi

A picture is worth 1000 words, so I’ll let this screen cap taken at 5AM (10AM Cr3am time, in other words mid-morning) speak for itself.

Dietary Tips

As a man of distinguished years (i.e., old), I have been exposed to numerous philosophies, world views, observations, anecdotes, witticisms and all manner of folk wisdom. In this current decade I made the acquaintance of a brilliant philosopher from the Great State of Texas who informed me of a TRUE FACT: All women are crazy and all men are stupid.

I mention this because last night, I proved the above axiom true, yet again. For supper, I had a large bowl of chocolate ice cream, many many handfuls of goldfish crackers and most of a container of bacon bits.

To say that my stomach became upset is a laughable understatement. Cramps, spasms, explosive emissions of the sonic and semi-solid nature, pain, regret, sorrow, strange and unnatural noises coming from my torso while a hyper boa constrictor wrestles a pack of rabid weasels for control of my colon, wishing for and then praying for a swift death to deliver me from my plight… yes, all this and more describes my evening.

In all honesty, a six year old left alone at home would probably make better dietary choices than I.

I am a man, ergo I am stupid.

Think Again

I did something this morning that I haven’t done in quite some time.  I logged into Ivlog.  I noticed a new name on the main page.  It was a new name, no photo had a few viewers.  I clicked it, going into a new room is always exciting!  It’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get! This was not my favorite chocolate that’s for sure! I thought for a bit that Ivlog had turned into the newest porn site for live viewers but I was wrong.

For those of you who love chocolate:

3 for 3

I have a little game I like to play. It’s called “Can I get Cookie Shitlips to ban me with just one post”.

I have been playing this game for some time, and as with any great endeavor, I seem to go in streaks. Right now, I am on a fucking tear. Over the weekend I got booted out of her channel 3 times on as many posts. In this game, that is counted as a Flawless Victory.

A year or so ago, Yetta was obviously on some sort of mood management medication, or maybe it was just some hog tranquilizers, because I could not BUY a boot out of her channel on VL. I was, needless to say, quite depressed. I stood in front of a mirror and berated myself for a lack of skill, talent and imagination. Happily for me, after awhile her meds ran out and she was back to being the irritable termagant with the eggshell ego that we all know and despise.

She is apparently back in a manic phase right now, so I would encourage both readers of this fabulous blog to pay a visit to her channel on CrAm’s website and rattle her cage. Just take a few moments to listen to whatever she is droning on about, then flatly contradict her (bonus points for using “tripcode” in your post) and see if you too can piss her off badly enough to pop you after 1 post.

Today I am successful.

There are a few things I do well and a lot of things I don’t.  Today was a success in my book. I usually think I fail at living, after reflecting on this, I am currently breathing and my heart is pumping  which means I do not fail at living.

Home improvement on the other hand is something I’m generally not good at. With my current state of mind of reducing my carbon footprint on the planet I decided to go green, well yellow.  ( I will explain later.)  For those of you who don’t know I’m a bit of a hairy beast.  I also have thing one and thing two that are also hairy beasts.  We all use the shower/bathtub, which means the drain gets clogged regularly.  This week, or the past 5 but who is counting, the bathtub drain has been clogged and today was the day I battled it out with the hairy beast below the bathtub.

Usually I would purchase a bottle of Draino pour it down the drain, impatiently wait the 15-30 minutes as recommended by the directions, and flush with water until the clog was washed away. When I tell people I do this I’m always told how terrible the bottle of chemicals are for my pipes and no one ever seems to care that I’m dumping a bottle of chemicals into the environment.  Today  I decided not to purchase the bottle of chemicals and go with something a little better for the environment.  I purchased the Cobra zip it drain cleaner which is very yellow.  I would have linked you to the website but I couldn’t find one for that particular brand so google it yourself if you must know what I am referring to.  This is a little plastic stick with little teeth sticking out of the bottom part of the stick.

I inspected the little stick a little more closely I felt like I had been dupped and had wasted my money.  How is this little piece of plastic going to do anything?  Won’t this get stuck in my drain?  These are just a few things I thought to myself.

Home improvement projects make me a little anxious for unknown reasons.  I took a deep breath and put on my rubber gloves.  Yes I have to hype myself up to face this slimy monster in my drain.  I thought of some slimy thing coming up out of the drain to get me.  Wait, where have I had that thought before?

That’s right Ghostbusters 2.  Laughing at myself I head to the bathroom, gloves donned and holding my little plastic sword ready to fight whatever evil hairy slimy monster that lurks in the bathtub drain.  I also am hoping this works and the little plastic sword doesn’t get stuck in the drain.  How embarrassing would that be having to call a plumber for that!  That would suck.

I started easing the plastic wand into the drain and surprisingly the little teeth were sharper than I expected. It went in easier than I expected. (I hear you snickering you dirty minded fuckers.)  I pulled it out and yes it was gross.  Grosser than I had anticipated.  I also didn’t anticipate that the hair was around the top of the drain. Also, it was not as much hair as I had expected.  With all that said, I did it!  I was so happy I did a little dance.  Beast thing one and two did a little dance too.

And no I didn’t get grossed out like in the following video.  Skip to a little before 1:00 because really who wants to hear all his talking.

UPDATE:  I must say this little gadget must work wonders as I haven’t had to use it again.  That or I punctured the drain pipe and my shower water is going to the downstairs apartment.  If that is the case, I’m ok with that as the man in 211 is a jerk and he deserves a leak in his apartment!

A Mixed Family

Well, yet another of my brother’s offspring is turning us into a Mixed family.

After multiple generations of soldiers on my father’s side of the family tree, my younger brother’s oldest son went off and joined the Marine Corps. I was able to take that in stride, because they do have some damn fine looking dress uniforms (not to mention Daniel had been dead set on joining the USMC since he was around 14 years old and never made a secret of it).

Now, Daniel’s youngest brother is doing something that leaves me aghast, bewildered, shocked, bamboozled, slick-jawed, dazed and in all other ways totally corn-fused. He is going to the University of Tennessee.

Now you just have to understand something here. All of us, every last one of us, went to NCSU. My brother, my wife, my kids, hell, I suspect my dog went to State. When you cut one of us, we bleed Wolfpack Red. And now, this young scallywag is going to Tennessee??

They say change is good. In any event, of course I wish him the very best. He is going to UT for a degree in aerospace engineering with an eye on USMC aviation when he gets out. True story: when he was but a wee lad, he was taken to Parris Island to attend his brother’s graduation from basic. Watching the recruit companies on the parade ground made quite the impression on him and he loudly announced that when he grew up, he was going to be a Marine. His mother looked down at him and said “Over my dead body.” I looked right at my brother and said “well, I guess he’s gonna be a Marine”.

Moms, NEVER tell your boys that can’t do something.

New law: Kansas cops can’t have sex during traffic stops

Yes, at last, police officers in Kansas are now legally prohibited from… well, let me just link to this:

http://www.kansas.com/news/politics-government/article210902319.html

From the article: The new law bans sexual relations “during the course of a traffic stop, a custodial interrogation, an interview in connection with an investigation, or while the law enforcement officer has such person detained.”

I know that I now feel much safer in the knowledge that I can travel to Kansas and not find myself handcuffed to a stair railing in some poorly lit back alley, my pants around my ankles while a demented civil servant gets his freak on using his night stick, a can of mace, and my booty. Well, at least not legally, although what that guy does on his off hours is totally up to him.

Apparently there actually was a Kansas City cop, Roger Golubski by name, who had a history of threatening the ladies of color of Kansas with the arrest of their relatives unless they gave up the goodies. As someone who once was an agent of the state, I must express more than a little surprise at this (along with a 55 gallon drum of disgust) because I know for a fact, cop groupies are a real thing and are not exactly shy. I am guessing Roger got off on the domination aspect of this more than the actual pussy.

 

Yeah. Teachers ought not to screw their students, cops shouldn’t dork people they have arrested, judges shouldn’t “go into chambers” with people on trial, etc., etc. It’s poor form to rely on your job to get laid – unless you’re Fred Garvin.

Good luck, Kansas. From now on when you get stopped for speeding on I-70, the only fucking you will get will be from your insurance company… the way it ought to be.

Should I wear the red shirt or blue shirt?

Has society become so bored in our everyday lives that we are willing to pick a fight over nothing?   Since when did society become so politically correct that having an opinion is offensive.  When do we ‘turn the other cheek’ these days?  Are you willing to shoot someone over a blue shirt?  These are some of the questions that run through my mind as I try to ignore the news while waiting for the traffic report.

A few weeks ago I was conversing with an Airman, who I will refer to as Sgt. Sexy.  If you ever need a piece of eye candy, please call Sgt Sexy.  He has a nice body and a brilliant mind.  I only put the brilliant mind part because he’s hot and I have no idea if he is smart but he reads this blog so I feel obligated to write that he is smart. He is no doubt smarter than me so lets roll with that. He is currently stationed out of the country and has seen a fair share of inflicted damage. Back to the point, I was conversing with Sgt Sexy regarding violence in the world and the fact that we don’t respect people’s opinions or even their rights to have a different opinion.

This happened just this past week.  Apparently Kanye West made some dumb comments. The next day a few people on the local radio station were saying they need to take away his kids, remove him from the birth certificate and remove him from the black race.  I must clarify that I believe what he said was dumb, and I think most people will agree with me, but I don’t believe he should not have the rights to being black, or having a child/children.  I honestly don’t know how many kids he has and I don’t care.  What if he had said something like “I hate the color green” and people said the same things over his hatred for the color green? I believe these people were more bothered by his jumping over to Trump’s side than the dumb comments about slavery, but whatever.  Do you believe society could hate someone over their hatred of a color like green?

The answer is yes.  There have been many people who have been injured or killed for wearing the wrong colors such as blue or red.  I own a blue shirt and a red shirt and when I put them on I find myself wondering if I will be killed over a 5 dollar shirt. It’s not just in America, others can’t wear red for whatever dumb reason like this one.  Would you be willing to kill someone over the color of their shirt or handbag?

Sgt. Sexy and I also discussed how some of these fights are down right dumb.  I told him I would need to google some of these things, because now I’m curious.  I thought about what dumb things I’ve fought about in my own life.  Yes, I have argued over toilet paper, I’m not proud of it.  I will continue to maintain that wasn’t my fault and it was also the breaking point of things that were boiling up for months.  Never the less, I argued over toilet paper.

I will say the war over a loose dog is pretty bad.  I know that couples fight over dumb things, such as toilet paper but the fight over imaginary money is pretty good too. After my google searching I realize it’s not today’s society that is dumb.  The human race is dumb.  We are just a bunch of hot heads running around being offended, ready for a good reason to tell someone off. As for killing over these things and peoples opinions I can’t do it.

Tell us in the comments what dumb thing you have fought over please!  I’m hoping someone can beat my toilet paper fight.

 

 

Going down the wrong road

Well, things are not lookin’ too good over on Camup.TV, where you are about to pay to play.

https://www.camup.tv/features

Starting in June, you gotta come off the hip to the tune of $30 a year if you want anything over and above a stream key. This is a pretty big change for CamUp, and I have to wonder if this change was influenced by the sudden influx of rats broadcasters leaving that shithole site based in Tennessee. This idea of charging people may be backfiring, as I have noticed some channels that were there are suddenly going missing… almost as if they have decided that if they have to pay, they need a site that actually works (more about that shortly).

Live internet broadcasters generally do this shit for fun, until they get on Youtube or Twitch and either have big ol’ titties or content so compelling that they begin to make real money from their broadcasts. On Camup, Ivlog, YawnLive, etc., it’s purely amateur hour. NO ONE is making a dime off their shows, so having to pay to broadcast doesn’t make much sense, unless you really like the site and feel like helping them out with beer money and such. Charging broadcasters, the people that actually provide the content of your website, generally encourages them to do one thing: migrate. They load up the wagon and move to greener (cheaper) pastures and then site owners sit around, scratching their hefty posteriors and wonder where all that traffic went.

Now getting back to CamUp, one of the things you will be paying for (assuming you care to stay & pay) are the guest cams. If you have been to CamUp, you already know where this is going. The guest cams on CamUp are so incredibly flaky, so twitchy, so unpredictable, so unreliable, so frustrating, that Dixie is in for some very unpleasant times when people who have paid money for the feature find that said feature simply does not work …. 80% of the time? 90%? Seriously. I used to do regular shows over there until I grew weary of the inability of the administrator to correct issues, acknowledge issues, own up to mistakes, etc. It was, in point of fact, way too much like dealing with Mark Vaughn. The guest cams were the source of almost all of my in-show complaints.

Dixie’s idea of fixing any issue is to tell you to clear your cache. Apparently, every CamUp user’s cache is infested by demons/aliens who are causing shit not to work and you need to clear that damn cache out, then everything will be fine. This is a theory on my part, but I suspect that telling paying customers to clear their cache is gonna go over like a big ol’ green turd in a pickle jar.

Dixie, when your site was free and people supported you (like I did) because they wanted to, if your shit didn’t work, well, the site was free and we were getting what we paid for. You are fixing to start taking people’s money very soon, and you had best up your game, or you are gonna be returning that money hand over fist.

Let’s play “WHAT IF…”

WHAT IF… Twiggy had been born in Ireland as a male.

Well, this one is easy. Twiggy as a male would be that parasite widely known as Ireland’s Patriot. Yes, the human stick figure with the incredible hydrocephalic noggin and the somewhat over-exaggerated opinion of himself (and by “somewhat”, I mean “infinitely”) is obviously the male Irish Twiggy. The resemblance is nothing short of remarkable.

Ireland’s Pissant has been hanging out in the live chat on the UKMuppets carrying on deep and meaningful conversations with himself, as is his wont. He vomited up these pearls just a short time ago:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have no idea who “Junior” is, but seriously, NO ONE on the planet is going to walk the other way when they see the scrawny apparition that is Ireland’s Patriot. The Pissant rambles on about old people and how they all hate him (pssssst, shit head, everyone hates you. That club is open to all applicants. No age restrictions apply) and they are all anons and old and also they are old. It seems blimp-head has a thing about age. I think he hates his mother and this is his way of expressing it.

 

Remember this one? Mommy makes IP cry, cry like a wee lass, as they say in the Land of Lucky Charms.

Mandela Effect Is Real or Fake?

In my self-medicated state I’ve been obsessing with the Mandela Effect and the TV show Flipper.  The new generation and future generations will probably never know the TV show because it is another piece of history that is being erased or forgotten. Is this a result of the Mandela Effect or was it not a good TV show to remember?

I first found out about the Mandela Effect a few months ago while having lunch with a friend; I thought my friend was on drugs and disregarded it.  During the next few weeks after that lunch my friend showed me different examples of the Mandela Effect.  I still brushed him off but between my medicated state and the Facebook Scandal I’m thinking it might be real.

The Mandela Effect, put simply, is remembering things differently than how they actually happened.  I believe we all do this during our lifetime.  Such as Bob who was a drunken, thieving criminal during his life but once Bob dies he was a kind and loving man.  This happens often, people are thought of in high regards once they die when in reality people are held in low regard when they are alive. Except Hitler. I digress.  Another example would be we remembered something being really exciting or big in our younger years then as adults we see it and realize we were fooled.  Ah, to be a kid again.

With the little research I’ve conducted regarding the Mandela Effect, I’m only seeing it’s changing in different forms of media, such as a TV show or newspaper, which makes me think of George Orwell’s 1984.  In the book, Big Brother changes reality by having workers alter the past newspapers and other items, giving false facts. They change and re-change these facts over time.  With that much change who can remember what really happened?  Here is a little clip of the movie but if you haven’t read 1984 you should. It’s even on audio book for those of you who can’t read.

This is what I think the Mandela Effect is: SOMETHING happened in reality and now people are changing the record of the event and we are forced to remember it differently.  This would include changing the spelling from Berenstein Bears to Berenstain Bears.  Technology is amazing these days, while watching The Titanic I really thought I was watching real people on a cruise ship, but it was all fake,  all technology.  It seems most people can alter media pretty easy these days, for example, did you ever see people’s tinder profile pictures?  All of them have been altered to fit their needs. I digress once again.  I believe that with the ease of altering digital media, said media has become a playground for the Mandela Effect.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t have that much time to alter the past or the desire to. Who does?  However, it seems many people do as there are several examples of it out on the interwebs.  Is Big Brother doing it? Maybe some teenage kids with time on their hands since they don’t play outside anymore? Maybe it’s some corporate conglomerate bringing us to such confusion that we will believe anything and accept their notions that they don’t over-charge us on everything.  Or maybe there is a secret society that has decided our world needs morals and they are changing history to make us a better human society?

Hmmmm, I’m going with corporate conglomerates or teenagers.  I must mention that it is thought that the Mandela Effect is created by parallel universes mixing with one another.  Hogwash.  The only thing mixing is my drink…. or is it drank?