Fish Story

We’ve all heard fish stories. Someone went fishing and caught a fish, and that fish increases in size each time the fisherman (fisher-person?) tells the story about the catch.

Kookie Shitlips, resident crazy person of Ivlog, is spinning her fish story even as I type this post. This afternoon, Kookie stated that she had approached an art gallery with an idea. She talked about taking screen caps of some comments concerning her, “scribbling” on them, thereby transforming these posts into art and having a one woman exhibition of … whatever. Art, it ain’t. She said the mythological dealer of art was interested in this idea and after a pregnant pause, Shitlips added she was going to be paid. More about “being paid” later in this post.

That keen legal maven, Candy Rayne, playing her role of enabler of the demented, advised Kookie that by virtue of scribbling on these screen shots, they would then become Kookie’s intellectual property. Kookie cackled about wanting to be sued by the authors of the scribbled upon posts (sued for precisely what, she did not say) as that would require said plaintiffs to identify themselves in the forthcoming fantasy legal proceedings. In other words, a typical Kookie fantasy wherein she conjures up amazing plots so she can be the heroine and vanquish all who stand before her.

This evening, the story, much like that fish, had grown considerably. By 11pm, the story was that an art gallery had approached her with this idea. Now that makes NO effing sense at all for at least two very good reasons. First, exactly how would this phantasmagorical art dealer know anything about Shitlip’s experiences on the internet, and secondly, why in the name of Blue Jesus would he then advise the Bag Lady of Ivlog to “scribble” on screen shots of which he has no knowledge?

As the witching hour approached, one art dealer became TWO art dealers. Yes, apparently the Art World of New York City is beating a path to the rent-controlled walk-up that is the abode of Kookie, and they come waving money. I said I would get back around to “being paid”. Art galleries work on consignment sales, Kookster. NO ONE IS GOING TO PAY YOU A DIME FOR A COPY OF A SCREEN CAPTURE THAT YOU HAVE DRAWN SOME LINES ON. Sadly, I have actually seen some of her “art work” and… well, it’s easier to show it than attempt to describe it. It is about at the level of a child with their very first box of crayons.

Seriously, she calls this art.

On the one hand, it is entertaining watching her lunacy from a front row seat, on the other hand, it is kinda sad watching her lunacy from a front row seat.


Woe is me. Everyone hates me.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. HandsomeMork


    Otter Telebotter has decided she does not need to do her show in an art gallery. No, why bother with a pretend gallery? Her latest plan is to “print up 10 copies of the worst ones and tape them to a wall” – a wall across the street from her fabulous government slum.

    She has announced that she will sell them for a nickel a throw. Yes, for five cents, you can own a valuable piece of someone’s insanity! Don’t delay! Be the first on your block to collect the entire set!

  2. The Cyber Analyst

    Obsessed with Yetta much? Yetta is right, you need Yetta rehab because you are addicted to her. You drank her special blend of Kool-Aid and she now has you hypnotized. Try getting self-involved. Or get a significant other… try anything to take your mind off the “Goddess Yetta” because these written homages you build to her at this blog make you seem like a real creeper. They are transparent fan letters… posted like some weird shrine designed to worship her.

  3. HandsomeMork

    Thank you for your own special insights, Utter Telebutter. It is always a delight to hear from the subject of a post.

  4. The Cyber Analyst

    You are quite welcome, DumbsomeDork. However, I am not the subject of the post. I bow to The Goddess Yetta, who is all tongue in cheek within self-effacing humor. We come from totally different perspectives. What we have in common is that we both sit glued to her show. Then, you try to denigrate her in pieces which debunk the content of her show and you create harsh charientisms within self-fulfilling prophecies designed to greatly impact her. What you do not realize is that Yetta wears a Shield of Gardol and many before you tried to destroy her spirit in various vile ways and they are all gone. She is still standing. So… build her archive. I am sure she will be broadcasting a show later with content for the purpose of triggering you to write more about her because she thrives on the activity of her haters and harassers. She considers your blog pieces to be fan letters.

  5. HandsomeMork

    Sure Yetta, sure. You aren’t you. I get it.

    I’m going to have to call you on “harsh charientism” however. By definition, a charientism is a gentle insult delivered in jest or blessing. To preface the word with “harsh” is to come precipitously close to committing an oxymoron.

    Perhaps this was your intent. Perhaps not.

    In any event, Cocoa would like to interview you.

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