This just in…. discussing, rehashing and in all other ways wearing out the facts (both real and imagined) that make up our day.

Franz Kafka, call your office

So I have a couple of credit cards. I use online banking to pay them off every month (a word to the wise kids: KEEP THAT BALANCE AT ZERO!).

A couple of weeks ago I got an email from Bank XYZ stating that they were “changing the way we do things” and instead of answering a security question or three (which, by the way, they reset annually) you would now be texted a code number to your mobile device to be able to conduct your online business. As a side note, I really do wonder what the fuck people who do not have a “mobile device” are supposed to do. Are they simply the new untouchables, denied the ability to pay a credit card balance because they choose not to own a fucking cell phone? This strikes me as fertile ground for an ADA or senior citizen class action suit.

So this morning, I get up at 5:30 and see a reminder that today is the day I have set to pay off the card balance at Bank XYZ. I log in with my user name and incredibly convoluted password and am confronted with a screen that says they will send a confirmation code to a phone number that has not been mine for years (I mean YEARS). There is no way around this confirmation code devil. I cannot even access customer service until I log in and… CONFIRM MY IDENITY using a phone number that is in the hands of some poor innocent who is (if there is any justice in this world) being deluged with notices of failed log in attempts.

No human can be accessed until 7AM to discuss this issue with, so I now have an hour and some odd number of minutes to attempt to distract myself from what is now the very center of my existence.

At 7AM sharp I call the “contact us if you are having trouble logging in” number and explain my issue. I am in luck. I only have to explain the problem to the first person I talk to twice. I am then transferred to the IDENTITY CONFIRMATION CENTER (now is that Orwellian sounding as hell or what?) where I am informed I will be asked five (5) questions about my past. Without going into detail, I did answer all 5 correctly – but I was left wondering JUST HOW THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE KNOW ALL THIS SHIT ABOUT ME? Some of the questions I answered concerned actions/details that went back decades – long before I was a customer at this bank and, in my opinion, were none of their business. Mind you, all this is simply to correct a phone number in their database that they failed to erase or overwrite when they went to their new system of texting you a code to your mobile device. In point of fact, when I was transferred back to the first person whom I had spoken with, she confirmed that my current number was the one she had listed (and no, I did not press her on that, among the many jobs I had at IBM, one of them was database analyst, and I am all too familiar with data that embeds into a database that, much like Melville’s Great White Whale, surfaces from time to time simply to send your Pequod to Davey Jones’ locker).

In any event, a code was sent to my cell phone, which I was required to read to the call taker, who then approved adding my current number to the call list (and yes, the old number is still there, in the list of numbers, much like a sinister spider waiting to pounce upon and consume my present number). Selecting the correct number then led to another code being sent to my phone, which I typed into the now tiresome log-in page and miracle of miracles, I was now “in” my account and free to PAY THE BANK THE BALANCE ON THE CARD. Yep, all this bullshit so I can give them money. This is not the 21st century I was looking forward to, and I have no doubt the democrats are responsible for this – although I am probably giving them too much credit as I doubt they are smart enough to figure out something as convoluted and devious as what I went through to pay a bill.

Have a good morning. I doubt mine will get any worse at this point. Maybe.

Random thoughts, late December edition

I have always been somewhat reclusive by nature, preferring to avoid crowds or other gatherings that require me to pretend that I am happy to be there.

Therefore, I am somewhat befuddled that I am upset that I am unable to visit a couple of uncles this holiday season. I want to have some of Aunt Diane’s chocolate pie and then drive up to Virginia, sit on my Uncle Paul’s porch and watch the sun go down while slowly nursing a glass of Seagrams, listening to Paul expound on how good life has been to him. Those options are simply out of the picture this year, and Paul in particular is not getting any younger.

All these years, I thought I was the Grinch Incarnate, and now I come to find out that I am just an old mushy sentimentalist. If only Dr Suess were still alive to write that story.

Grinch is not pleased

I am left to wonder if I will ever see these people again. My Uncle David (Diane’s husband) is extremely protective of her, as she has had respiratory issues virtually her entire life. None of us doubt that a brush the Chinese Communist War Virus of 2019 would do her in very quickly. David won’t let his own kids in the house, all visits are held outdoors on a spacious porch, masks are non-optional. I do not disagree with his course of action.

Uncle Paul is now in the back half of his 80s and has gone into Atrial fibrillation more than once since Thanksgiving. Paul has a better support system than most of us: his oldest daughter is a hard-nosed, no-nonsense retired ER nurse (God, I love her dearly), his youngest daughter is a practicing MD. They are watching their dad and neither is shy about getting involved with his immediate care if they even get a hint of a feeling of a notion that something isn’t right. His current situation places him pretty much off limits to spending some time on that porch.

I want, badly, to spend a bit of time with all of them, and it won’t happen soon, and it’s a toss up if it will ever happen. I count these vaccines that magically appeared overnight as too good to be true, and when something is too good to be true…

Anyway, Christmas 2020 sucks.

Been a heck of a night.

My old friend Neil (Neil is an Irishman who lives in the lower Hudson Valley, and one of the finest people you will ever meet) and I were talking a few weeks ago, and we agreed that to a couple of average Joes like ourselves, it really doesn’t matter all that much who is actually sitting in the leather chair in the Oval Office. I assume it’s leather. For all I know, it may be Naugahyde. That would be be a shame. If I were President, I’d buy me a leather chair, with a high back so I could nod off (which I am wont to do as I get older).

Anyway, like a lot of “normal” folks, I still find myself getting a tad worked up over presidential elections (and thank god Bill Clinton is out of the picture, or we’d be getting worked up over presidential erections, and I’m sorry I even wrote that… ) so since around 23:00 I’ve been reading this site and that site and it seems (as always) there’s a whole lot of heat but very little light.

What I do have is a monster of a headache. I feel like a nail is being hammered into the socket of my right eye, which is somewhat unpleasant, as you may well imagine. Any time I get that “nail in the eye socket” headache, I go look at the local weather, because roughly 100% of the time, the barometric pressure is either rapidly climbing or falling. Tonight it is taking off like a damned rocket, and coupled with all the reading of both the learned and the ignorant I’ve been doing for the last 7 hours, this headache falls into the “blinding” category.

I tried laying down and convincing myself to go to sleep, but that effort was for naught, so I returned to my office for some relief out of one of those small plastic bottles. It will take a few minute to for the effects of the medicine to begin to work their magic, but in time, the pain will fade and life will be better.

This may be an analogy for elections. Maybe. Maybe not. I will leave that to the wise dead, such as Samuel Clemens, who ALWAYS had something absolutely spot on to say about most any aspect of the human condition. All I can can come up with is “Fuck, my head is killing me.”

So anyway, my thoughts for the evening are two-fold. Firstly, one pundit that I read tonight stated that whether you win, lose, or draw in this election, we live in a country where we can actually vote for the person we desire to be our leader, and in the known history of humanity, that privilege is actually fairly rare.  Secondly, the meds are starting to work and I am damned glad to live in an age where pain relief comes in plastic bottles at remarkably affordable prices.

All in all, it isn’t a bad time to be alive.

Fun with zombies

So, this tale begins with a merger between two telecom companies and something called voLTE (which stands for “voice over Long Term Evolution”, if you can dig that).

My cell phone carrier was the company that gotten eaten by the merger (by default, every business merger has a winner and a loser) and the company that won the merger uses this voLTE shit. The winning company published a list of the losing company’s phones that would work with voLTE, AND OF COURSE… mine was not on the list. Time to get a new phone, goddammit. I hate cell phones in general, and I truly despise new cell phones in particular.

Living in the middle of nowhere, I decided to drive to a nearby metropolis and purchase a new phone in person and have the salespeople explain the workings of this new phone to my poor ignorant self. To make a long story short, they had the phone I decided to get in stock, but it was in some color called “Sissy 12 year old girl unicorn sparkle” and I wanted a black one. So they ordered me a black one, shipped to my address – and please bring it to the store when you get it so we can pair it to your car and show you all the fabulous features and so on and so forth – which means I get to go home, wait for a box to arrive, then drive back to the metropolis.

Which I did. To describe what happened in the store when I got there with the new phone would beggar belief, so we’ll just leave that part out of this story and say that after a week or so of resetting the phone, I think I finally know what some of the buttons do. But that’s not what this story is about. This story is about me getting a new phone number to go along with the new phone.

When you get a “new” number, you are getting someone’s old number, and chances are they didn’t give up their old number for fun. (My last “new” number belonged to some asshole who owes everyone in the United States money, including the government of said United States, and they want him badly for defaulted student loans. For the three plus years I had that number, I got calls for this dickhead looking to collect money. I would explain to the callers that the number in question now belonged to me, some of the callers apologized for calling and said they would remove the number from their database, but other callers basically said “fuck you, this is the only number we have and we will keep right on calling”. I do need to mention that I reached out to a friend in the business of enforcing laws who actually tracked the prior owner down. He shows 2 active address (one is his mother’s house) AND he has NO current phone numbers in his name AND he is still giving out his old number whenever he is required to give a number.

So anyway, the “new” number I got seems to have been owned by a woman who uses two different names (I know, shocking, isn’t it?) and since we are coming up on an election… well, I have been getting a LOT of text messages, and I want to use just one of them to illustrate the fun I am having.

The “Okay thanks, have a good day” went on for well over an hour. Spam? In any event, I have gotten texts from Greenpeace, the NAACP, the Sierra Club, some group called Care in Action, and several other organizations I have never heard of, but I am reasonably certain George Soros is underwriting them. They all get the same basic reply as above. Usually that ends the conversation, but the NAACP wanted to know exactly how I planned to vote (mail, early-in-person or in person on election day). Now that doesn’t make me too paranoid at all. And by the way, I told them “all of the above” then blocked their number.

So this is how I am entertaining myself these days, and if, by chance, some woman is getting a ration of shit mail from the good folks at the NAACP or Greenpeace, well that makes it even better.

And who didn’t see this coming?

Kyle Rittenhouse.

He’s going to be famous for some time. At this time, it appears that young Kyle is a high school drop out, not possessed of a sterling intellect, a wanna-be Marine/Fireman/Policeman who has now entered a brand new phase of his life: soon-to-be-convicted murderer.

If he gets good enough legal representation, he may skate on murder in the first degree, but he has an uphill climb to do that. He was unlawfully in possession of a firearm (Kyle is 17 years old and strutting around town with an AR is legal nowhere at all except maybe Mogadishu). He traveled a fair distance to be at the scene of riotous behavior – in other words, he went out of his way to get there. He apparently announced in speech and in writing that he was headed to Kenosha to “defend/protect property”, exactly none of which belonged to him. All of this speaks to a certain level of planning and premeditation, and premeditation is a key element in the charge of murder in the 1st degree.

Kyle’s facebook and other social media accounts were widely captured before they were shut down. In these various accounts, Kyle appears dressed as GI Joe, a police cadet (he may/may not have been enrolled in a cadet program in some jurisdiction) and is fully suited up as a fireman. And then there’s THE picture of him, holding onto a S&W M&P rifle (that’s the Smith & Wesson version of an AR-15) wearing some shoes that you gotta see to believe.

Dude, really? Where does someone even go to find such… interesting footwear.Based on his fashion sensibilities, he may try for the insanity defense.

Kyle is an all too predictable outcome of the street calculus that is being acted out right now. Naughty people are doing everything in their power to provoke a response from the police. To the surprise of no thinking person, a wannabe cop shows up and responds to the provocation. There is a massive amount of “information static” surrounding what happened to and around Kyle before he started pulling his trigger. There are reports of him getting smacked in the back of the head by a skateboard, there are numerous witnesses stating that he was being rushed by people who intended him harm. There are reports that one or more of these personages may have been in possession of openly displayed firearms, which will be a key element in any case made for self-defense.

It is in poor taste to observe that he was able to simply get up and walk away from the scene, which is a sort of a left handed complimentary testimony to the benefits of having superior fire power. Had the Antifaoids been better organized (and after this, I believe they will be), they would have descended on this kid and eaten him alive.

But getting back to his upcoming trial, he will be tried as an adult, I suspect the state will go for murder in the first degree, but they will also charge him with murder in the second degree, manslaughter, assault inflicting grievous bodily injury, attempted murder, various weapons charges, etc., etc. After his conviction, he will then be carted off to some prison where his asshole will be widened considerably. No doubt about it, he is gonna be someone’s wife.

It’s a shame someone didn’t take a hard look at him, ask him how old he was and send him home. But, to our knowledge, no one did (which is perhaps understandable given the total chaos that was going on around him). Several lives would be on different trajectories right now if he had been escorted back to his car and told to beat it.


Of course you can’t breathe…


At 7:30 p.m. on May 31, 2020, prosecutors “met” online with Dr. Andrew Baker, Chief Medical Examiner of Hennepin County, to discuss Floyd’s toxicology report.

So there they were, staring at the just-received and damning toxicology report that blew to smithereens the whole prosecution theory that the police had killed Floyd. To their undoubted dismay, Dr. Baker, the chief medical examiner, had to concede that at 11 ng/mL, Floyd had “a fatal level of fentanyl under normal circumstances.” He also conceded that the fentanyl overdose “can cause pulmonary edema,” a frothy fluid build-up in the lungs that was evidenced by the finding at autopsy that Floyd’s lungs weighed two to three times normal weight.

This is consistent with Officer Kueng’s observation at the scene that Floyd was foaming at the mouth and, as found at autopsy, that his lungs were “diffusely congested and edematous.”

In other words, like a drowned man, Floyd’s lungs were filled with fluid. And that was the obvious and inescapable reason why Floyd kept shouting over and over again that he couldn’t breathe even when he was upright and mobile.

The memorandum ends with Dr. Baker’s devastating conclusion that “if Floyd had been found dead in his home (or anywhere else) and there were no other contributing factors he [Dr. Baker] would conclude that it was an overdose death.”

It is quite telling that this explosively exculpatory June 1 memorandum was not released by the prosecution until August 25, 2020. All of which prompts these questions:

First, why did the prosecution wait three months to release this memorandum?

Second, if the prosecution had released this information in a timely fashion, would that have helped to quell the anti-police outrage that has fueled the nationwide orgy of rioting and looting?

Third, in light of Floyd’s toxicology results and the medical examiner’s assessment that Floyd’s fentanyl overdose caused him to essentially drown in his own bodily fluid, why haven’t the charges against all of the police defendants been dropped?


I think we all know why the charges aren’t being dropped. The loud & stupid would lose their loud & stupid minds and burn down the rest of Minneapolis… unless the required amount of force was brought to bear to put a stop to them. So far, no political will to act has been observed in Minneapolis.

I went for a ride

The world is an irksome place right now. The United States is just crawling with low intelligence high volume morons who seem to be upset that they aren’t allowed to rob, steal, rape and plunder at their leisure. As of this time, it is still unlawful for good, upstanding citizens to drop these miscreants on sight, so I did the only thing I could do.

I dropped the top and went for a ride.

The best therapy is convertible therapy.

Joggers and other knaves

So let’s get down to it. Our “betters” in the national media have stories they want to tell. The term “narrative” is bandied about quite a bit. Facts that do not advance the narrative are simply left out of the coverage. If you are some busy person who has 10 minutes a day for a quick update/refresher on what’s going on in the world you are getting ROYALLY FUCKED, HARD, by the people who run 99% of the newspapers and TV news in the world (sadly, this problem is most assuredly not confined to the United States).

So I am gonna touch on three stories that are currently being used (and they are indeed being used in the truest sense of the verb) by the media to whip up a frenzy, seed more trouble (thereby perpetuating the story cycle) and most importantly, sell more newspaper ads, TV commercials, and enhance their revenue – which is the true bottom line here. They will throw anybody to the wolves if they can make a dollar out of it.

Story One: Ahmed/Ahmaud Arbery – Ahmed is was a convicted felon. He had a history of running when he was accosted. He had a history of carrying a firearm. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is well aware of “Maude’s” (his nom de rue) prior history. The man who shot “Maude” had participated in arresting Maude on a prior occasion and was well familiar with Maude’s background – to wit: Maude carries a gun and likes to run. Perhaps, just maybe, you may begin to understand why several agencies investigated the apprehension of Maude and declined to prosecute. The “jogger” story was an invention by one Lee Merritt, the attorney who is representing the deceased felon’s family. Much can be read about Mr Merritt elsewhere. Sadly, the lies spread by the local newspaper have already triggered one mental defective into a shooting spree in Arizona.

Story Two: “Central Park Karen” – the lady with the unleashed dog makes panicked call to 911, breathlessly says an African American Male is threatening her. We’ve all seen this one. Amy Cooper (AKA forever more KAREN) had her dog off a leash in an area that was posted as requiring dogs to be leashed. The media has presented a story of Black Man asks White Lady to leash dog, she freaks out, calls 911 and reports “African American Male is threatening me”. Sweet Jesus, you all say, what the hell is up this bitch’s backside? Well, apparently there is MORE to the STORY… What did the media leave out? This is from Christian Cooper’s Facebook Page:

“ME: Ma’am, dogs in the [Bramble] have to be on the leash at all times. The sign is right there.

“HER: The dog runs are closed. He needs his exercise.”

“ME: Look, if you’re going to do what you want, I’m going to do what I want, but you’re not going to like it.

HER: What’s that?

ME [to the dog]: Come here, puppy!

“HER: He won’t come to you.”

“ME: We’ll see about that… I pull out the dog treats I carry for just such intransigence. I didn’t even get a chance to toss any treats to the pooch before Karen scrambled to grab the dog.


Who is Christian Cooper? Why he’s the African American male that was the subject of the 911 call. The whole business of him trying to get her dog in his grasp has somehow magically been left out of the story. I suspect that might change the tone of the story and not sell quite as many ads? By the way, KAREN (Amy Cooper) has been placed on “administrative leave” from her job AND her dog has been taken from her. (note: that all parties in this story have the same last name, which nicely adds to the confusion)

Story Three: George Floyd – Suddenly this guy’s history has fucking dis-a-ppeared (edit: I now have more info about the late Mr Floyd’s criminal history – adding to the bottom of this post). Therefore, I suspect he has extensive priors. According to the AJ-C (see above), George was convicted of armed robbery during a home invasion in 2007. What we know is that he matched a description given out on a forgery in progress call. When he was hailed by the police, he decided to fight. Let’s repeat that, shall we? He decided he wanted to play Billy Badass and fight the cops. It is worth noting that George is being described as “a gentle giant” by his former associates. This means he was a big dude. It ended with Billy, I mean George, face down, handcuffed, with a knee on his neck and he got dead. Who got George dead? George got George dead. Imagine George saying something like “Officer, I believe this is a case of mistaken identity, but I shall cooperate with you until we can get this situation rectified.” George would still be alive. But George wanted to fight, and George is dead. Now Minneapolis is gonna endure all sorts of BULLSHIT simply because a convicted felon decided to play tough guy, got his ass handed to him, and now the professional race-baiters and their friends in the media see an opportunity to make some money.

So the next time you read a story in a newspaper, or see some clip on the evening news and you feel filled with a sense of towering outrage… odds are you have been played. There’s damn near ALWAYS something that is critical to why events progressed the way they did, and the media is deliberately leaving that information out.

George Floyd –

  • 1998 – Theft using a firearm
  • 2002 – possession of cocaine
  • 2004 – possession of cocaine
  • 2005 – possession of cocaine
  • 2005 – armed home invasion (this one is pretty nasty, he pressed a gun into the stomach of a pregnant woman – the home owner, to ensure her compliance
  • 2020 – Attempted to pass a counterfeit bill to pay for goods, this leads to a 911 call where the caller states Mr Floyd is acting in an erratic fashion, his autopsy will ultimately reveal that he is under the influence of fentanyl and methamphetamines.


Less Random Thoughts @ 1:52 AM

I read an interesting article this evening that predicts imminent martial law in the United States. By imminent, we’re talking within the next two weeks. The thrust of the article was “go right now to where you want to be for the next two to three months, because that is where you will be staying”.

Coincidentally, this morning I was speaking to a family member who has an offspring in the USMC. He advised his father that it is fairly likely interstate travel may be restricted in short order. That raises some interesting issues for folks with far flung families and people who live near state lines.

As an example, there is a town not too far from where I am sitting right now that does a great deal of business with folks from our neighboring state. Simply put, the nearest Wal Mart to these out-of-staters  is located in this state. If you go to the shopping center that this Wally World is in, easily a full third of the license tags in that parking lot are from the other side of the border. If the border is closed, do they then get to drive an extra hour to buy their ration of toilet paper and frozen chicken?

There is yet another town not too far away at all from where I am sitting right now that has the state line running directly through its middle. If a resident of this town wants to mail a letter and the post office is across the invisible line, do they get to drive to Nexttownover to mail it? And what if the fire station or police department is on one side of the border and a bandit starts a fire on the other side? There are gonna be a SHIT TON of details to work out over this state line thing.

If your elderly parent/grandparents/aunts/uncles live in Florida (as an example) and have a stroke, fall down and break that hip, or lose their spouse, will their be some form of compassionate relief to allow folks from elsewhere to get there to help out in this time of need? Again, gonna be a SHIT TON of details to work through here.

This is going to be an interesting year for anyone graduating from school at any level. Graduation ceremonies, proms, senior class events, etc. are all canceled. Final exams are likely going to be problematic as well, so anyone with marginal grades that was looking to cram for that final to try to pull their grade up is well & truly fucked. Those pictures of Junior in cap and gown posing with proud mom and dad will not be taken in 2020.

Amazon has already announced they are prioritizing shipping of merchandise based on category. So if you want to get the kids an X-Box to keep them entertained, you might be out of luck here. Amazon says they are focusing on shipping baby products (because babies just don’t care, they will keep on turning baby food to yellow poop) health and household goods, beauty and personal care, groceries, industrial and scientific products, and pet supplies. So They will send out Q Tips, soup, dog food, diapers, lip stick and light bulbs, but the other stuff… maybe not so much. So the point is, if there is something you think you might want, right now would be a good time to get it.

If the power goes out, there will be trouble.

Of course, there’s always a bright side to things:


Black Friday Sucks

Black Friday, a dream to many, has turned into a disappointment for me.  Early this week I overheard some women planning their Black Friday strategies.  I laughed a little to myself thinking never again will I partake in the nonsense that is Black Friday.  Well, not in the early morning, fighting crowds way.

Way back when I was a kid, we learned about Black Friday and how it is good for the economy.  Now that I think about it, I think it was an opportunity to get our wish list to our parents.  Also I think the teachers needed to make their strategy and what better way to do it with a bunch of minds!  As a kid I never participated in Black Friday.  I’m not sure if my parents participated, but I was curious for many years how Mom ended up in jail with my cabbage patch kid.

In my 20s I did partake in Black Friday once.  I woke up extremely early to arrive at the store for the coveted 5am door buster gifts. On arrival at said store I found they had opened early and all those door busters were long gone. It was at this time that I realized I am a beta when it comes to shopping. It was also at this time that I realized I like to sleep and saving a few bucks wasn’t worth it.  I will say that I tried online shopping in my 20s too, but online shopping wasn’t as easy as it is now.  Dial up internet was a real struggle!

In my 30s I did a little more Black Friday shopping.  This time I went with an expert. She had Black Friday shopping down to a science.  She had what route we would take to get what gifts she wanted and the times it should take us to get to and from these items.  I didn’t really enjoy the craziness of it all, but in the end I really enjoyed fighting next to my family more than anything.  I mean when someone punches my family, you are going down! (And they did)   Now her daughters will have to wonder why their mom went to jail with their American Girl Dolls.  

Now that I’m considerably older I don’t partake in Black Friday nonsense at all.  The fact that retailers offer a few coveted name brand items for a small discount and a few more non-name brand items for a bigger discount doesn’t make me want to get up early at all!  Now I wake up, enjoy the quiet peaceful house and do some online shopping with a cup of coffee. If I need to go to the store or feel like shopping I make sure it’s after 10am and all the crazy people have gone back home.  I’m not interested in being around people to save a few bucks. I will say, the hype of Black Friday online isn’t that great too.  Amazon had a pencil sharpener on the Black Friday page. Really?  Who wants a pencil sharpener for Christmas? As I scrolled through the 32 pages of black Friday deals I found a bunch of nothing that I wanted to buy.  I ended up buying two items on Black Friday this year. How disappointing.  I wonder if Black Friday always sucked.

Hell Storm ’18 or Gone With the Wind part CLXXXII

That most dangerous of men, Matt Drudge, always refers to inbound hurricanes as “HELL STORM”, this time around he may be right.

North Carolina has had some bad luck with “F” hurricanes in the month of September, and it looks like another one is on its way. The European Weather models have been calling for Florence to hit the Carolinas for over a week now, and the GFS (the American model) has finally decided that uh… yeah, it looks like Florence is gonna hit the Carolinas.

Right now it looks like it will come ashore as a category 3 storm, which is bad enough, but the projections for rainfall are slam out of sight. This rain will be coming down in an area that has had a historically wet summer already.

Let me recommend that you get familiar with this guy sooner rather than later: page is and youtube channel is, twitter is This guy KNOWS HIS SHIT.

Is this place dead or what?

Cocoa said she was gonna do a post about Youtube killing my last show… but she didn’t.

I was doing my usual Friday show thing, this time using Youtube (which, parenthetically speaking, used to have no issue with it – but times and rules change, eh?) and just after 2 hours they shut me down. I could read the chat and see people saying I had been shut down, but I couldn’t type anything at all so I had no way of telling everyone good night. I got an email later that night saying they shut me down because “Due to a copyright match, your stream was interrupted”. I am amused by this because I had been on for over 2 hours. So did the “copyright match” take place earlier and it took them some time to react, OR was the song that was playing at that exact moment trigger the match? Who knows. I do know that based on the experience of many other streamers, Youtube will never tell me. So anyway, I am crossing Youtube off the list of places to do a show.

Got an email concerning perpetual guest numbers on Ivlog. The emailer said that they have had the same guest number for the last 2 days. They said that they ran CCleaner, deleted their cookies and so on and so forth and still had the same guest number. I went to Ivlog and lo, the assigned number I got seemed to want to stick. I blew out all the ivlog cookies (there are several of them) and removed ivlog from my history, returned to ivlog and… same guest number. IP linked? So then I removed the cookies and history and waited until the next day to go back. Now I had a different guest number. The sad and tiny little fellow that runs Ivlog really really REALLY wants to know who everyone is that uses that site. Be aware that this change in assigning a guest number is probably not in your best interests.

Goutboy might be feeling some heat from a certain sports league. I went looking to see who was showing preseason NFL games on the Miscellaneous channel and lo, nary a game was to be found anywhere on the entire site. Interesting, very interesting as Arte Johnson used to say.

There was a spot of excitement on Twitter today as they were streaming a Madden ’19 tournament out of Jacksonville, Florida and some beta male took losing his round to heart and proceeded to shoot the venue up and then put one through his own head. Dear suicidal losers: PLEASE, make your last shot your first shot. Blow your own pathetic brains out before you shoot other people. Thank you. Invest in metal detector stocks now, because this guy has just given every business that caters to groups larger than two a reason to buy one. Every news site in the world linked to Twitter for the video of when the shooting started, so Twitter, in a moment of brilliant business insight, pulled the video down. No free advertising for you, come back, one year.

Be careful out there, people.

New law: Kansas cops can’t have sex during traffic stops

Yes, at last, police officers in Kansas are now legally prohibited from… well, let me just link to this:

From the article: The new law bans sexual relations “during the course of a traffic stop, a custodial interrogation, an interview in connection with an investigation, or while the law enforcement officer has such person detained.”

I know that I now feel much safer in the knowledge that I can travel to Kansas and not find myself handcuffed to a stair railing in some poorly lit back alley, my pants around my ankles while a demented civil servant gets his freak on using his night stick, a can of mace, and my booty. Well, at least not legally, although what that guy does on his off hours is totally up to him.

Apparently there actually was a Kansas City cop, Roger Golubski by name, who had a history of threatening the ladies of color of Kansas with the arrest of their relatives unless they gave up the goodies. As someone who once was an agent of the state, I must express more than a little surprise at this (along with a 55 gallon drum of disgust) because I know for a fact, cop groupies are a real thing and are not exactly shy. I am guessing Roger got off on the domination aspect of this more than the actual pussy.


Yeah. Teachers ought not to screw their students, cops shouldn’t dork people they have arrested, judges shouldn’t “go into chambers” with people on trial, etc., etc. It’s poor form to rely on your job to get laid – unless you’re Fred Garvin.

Good luck, Kansas. From now on when you get stopped for speeding on I-70, the only fucking you will get will be from your insurance company… the way it ought to be.

Should I wear the red shirt or blue shirt?

Has society become so bored in our everyday lives that we are willing to pick a fight over nothing?   Since when did society become so politically correct that having an opinion is offensive.  When do we ‘turn the other cheek’ these days?  Are you willing to shoot someone over a blue shirt?  These are some of the questions that run through my mind as I try to ignore the news while waiting for the traffic report.

A few weeks ago I was conversing with an Airman, who I will refer to as Sgt. Sexy.  If you ever need a piece of eye candy, please call Sgt Sexy.  He has a nice body and a brilliant mind.  I only put the brilliant mind part because he’s hot and I have no idea if he is smart but he reads this blog so I feel obligated to write that he is smart. He is no doubt smarter than me so lets roll with that. He is currently stationed out of the country and has seen a fair share of inflicted damage. Back to the point, I was conversing with Sgt Sexy regarding violence in the world and the fact that we don’t respect people’s opinions or even their rights to have a different opinion.

This happened just this past week.  Apparently Kanye West made some dumb comments. The next day a few people on the local radio station were saying they need to take away his kids, remove him from the birth certificate and remove him from the black race.  I must clarify that I believe what he said was dumb, and I think most people will agree with me, but I don’t believe he should not have the rights to being black, or having a child/children.  I honestly don’t know how many kids he has and I don’t care.  What if he had said something like “I hate the color green” and people said the same things over his hatred for the color green? I believe these people were more bothered by his jumping over to Trump’s side than the dumb comments about slavery, but whatever.  Do you believe society could hate someone over their hatred of a color like green?

The answer is yes.  There have been many people who have been injured or killed for wearing the wrong colors such as blue or red.  I own a blue shirt and a red shirt and when I put them on I find myself wondering if I will be killed over a 5 dollar shirt. It’s not just in America, others can’t wear red for whatever dumb reason like this one.  Would you be willing to kill someone over the color of their shirt or handbag?

Sgt. Sexy and I also discussed how some of these fights are down right dumb.  I told him I would need to google some of these things, because now I’m curious.  I thought about what dumb things I’ve fought about in my own life.  Yes, I have argued over toilet paper, I’m not proud of it.  I will continue to maintain that wasn’t my fault and it was also the breaking point of things that were boiling up for months.  Never the less, I argued over toilet paper.

I will say the war over a loose dog is pretty bad.  I know that couples fight over dumb things, such as toilet paper but the fight over imaginary money is pretty good too. After my google searching I realize it’s not today’s society that is dumb.  The human race is dumb.  We are just a bunch of hot heads running around being offended, ready for a good reason to tell someone off. As for killing over these things and peoples opinions I can’t do it.

Tell us in the comments what dumb thing you have fought over please!  I’m hoping someone can beat my toilet paper fight.



Oh Snap

74 to 54.


UVa is gonna fire their head coach.

UMBC’s head coach is a RED HOT commodity as of about an hour ago.

There have been some close calls before, but never (never ever ever never ever) has a number 16 seed knocked off a number 1. Ever. A few 15/2 matchups have gone to the 15, so any statistician could promise you that one day, somewhere, a 16 was gonna bounce a 1, but. UVa wasn’t just a 1 seed, they were THE 1 SEED. Number Uno in the whole nation, the cream of the crop, the best team from sea to shining sea… and they got PULVERIZED by a team that 99% of the country had never heard of in front of God and everybody on National Television.

20 points. They lost by 20 fucking points. That, friends and neighbors is a B L O W O U T.

Also, RIP every bracket in the universe.

Recycling Poo Paper?

I happened across this article earlier today, and this evening I’m still confused as to why we are going backwards.

I didn’t read the entire article because I’m not that invested in it and I don’t care.  The argument for me to start recycling toilet paper would have to involve a lot of money in my bank account (not including the savings I would have from not buying toilet paper of course).

I don’t get it.  Years ago there was a little rag that people would hang in the outhouses and that was your toilet paper and you had your own rag.  I suspect that people used another person’s “cleaner” rag as to save their own but that’s only a suspicion I have.  I digress.

Toilet paper is designed to break down and dissolve very easily.  I have come across a bidet and I found it confusing.  (That’s a story for another day.)

How many of you would give up your toilet paper and go back to the rag?


On a different note, I did find the Wikipedia article regarding toilet paper an interesting read.  I don’t think I could wipe with sand though, the idea of that made me cringe a little.

Happy Pooping!



21st Century Fairy Tales

Being a staunch traditionalist, I shall begin my tale in that most time-honored fashion…

Once upon a time, in the sleepy little County of *****, there lived a cranky old buzzard with a new truck.

One night, his truck sent him an email. Trucks can do that now. We must be living in the 21st century.

The email said “my rear tires are quite low in pressure, do something!”. Now these tires were not just filled with any old run-of-the-mill air. No sir. These tires had special air, which went by the name of Nitrogen. Nitrogen was quite proud of being nitrogen, and didn’t much care when common folk mentioned that regular old run-of-the-mill air was 78% nitrogen to begin with. This nitrogen liked to remind people that it was pure, unadulterated nitrogen, and that messy old oxygen was neither needed nor wanted.

So anyway, Mr Old Buzzard shook his head at the idea of a truck emailing him, and the following morning he rose out of bed, threw on his go-to-town clothes and went to get some nitrogen for his poor tires. Imagine Mr Old Buzzard’s surprise when the first tire service business he stopped at responded with “What? Niter Gen? Is that a Japanese tire? We don’t carry them, but maybe I can order some.” Mr Old Buzzard thanked them and then drove to another tire business. The response was different but not exactly better. They didn’t have nitrogen either, but they knew about how a lot of new vehicles were coming with nitrogen filled tires, but they were…. unconvinced of the benefits of this highfalutin’ special air and offered to top Mr Old Buzzard off with regular old run-of-the-mill air, but Mr Old Buzzard had read somewhere on the internets that it was best practice not to add regular old run-of-the-mill air to a tire full of nitrogen because REASONS.

So Mr Old Buzzard drove to the local GMC Honda dealership, which just happened to be owned by the brother of the man that Mr Old Buzzard had bought his truck from. Mr Old Buzzard walked into the service department, removed his hat and asked the young lady at the service desk (lady at the service desk? We MUST be living in the 21st century) if they could fill up a low tire with nitrogen. She smiled and said they had no nitrogen and before she could continue, an old service geezer from across the way cackled “Nitrogen? Ha! Some dealers are putting that stuff in new tires, and they will be happy to fill them up for you. Be sure you have your wallet when you go.” Mr Old Buzzard turned to old service geezer and said “Yes, they do”. Mr Old Buzzard pointed at his truck that was parked out front and continued “That truck right there has nitrogen in the tires, and it came from the brother of the fellow that owns this place”.

Old service geezer suddenly got very busy at his desk while loudly stating for all to hear “Different business all together, they got nothing to do with us!”. Mr Old Buzzard watched old service geezer for a few moments to see if he had anything else to add, then turned back to the young lady at the service desk. “Do you know of anyone in ***** County that would have nitrogen available to pump up a low tire?”, he asked. The young lady at the service desk named both tire stores that Mr Old Buzzard had already visited, so Mr Old Buzzard thanked the young lady at the service desk for her time. She did tell Mr Old Buzzard that regular old run-of-the-mill air could be used to fill the tires up. Mr Old Buzzard thanked the young lady at the service desk again and walked out to his truck.

Mr Old Buzzard really did not want to drive to the next village over to pump up a tire, but at this point he figured maybe a phone call to the place he had bought the truck from was in order. So Mr Old Buzzard pulled into a large convenience store/gas station parking lot and told his truck to call *** Chevrolet (wait a minute… you can tell a truck to make a phone call?!?) and he ended up talking to Heather in the service department (woman in the service depart…, ah, you’ve heard this before). Mr Old Buzzard asked Heather if she knew of any place in ***** County that could fill up a low tire with nitrogen. Heather did not know of any place in ***** County that could do that. Mr Old Buzzard then asked Heather if *** Chevrolet had nitrogen (here comes the good part of the story, so pay attention) and Heather said “Yes, we have it, it’s $20 per tire to fill.”

There was a long silence wherein Mr Old Buzzard had many thoughts, none of which shall be discussed here. Twenty dollars. Per tire.

Mr Old Buzzard finally told Heather he thought that was just a bit out of line, he wasn’t holding Heather responsible for that bit of (here, the reader may choose between words such as “robbery”, “larceny”, “greed”, “scam”, etc) customer service policy, but Mr Old Buzzard did add that he sure did wish he had known about the Nitrogen Charge and its total lack of availability ANYWHERE other than *** Chevrolet. From Heather’s quiet response that one could use regular old run-of-the-mill air to inflate the tire, Mr Old Buzzard formed an idea that possibly Heather may well have had this conversation before.

So Mr Old Buzzard thanked Heather for her time and ended the call. He saw a coin operated regular old run-of-the-mill air machine in the same parking lot he was already in, so he drove over to it and got out of his truck. A hand-lettered sign was taped to the face of the regular old run-of-the-mill air machine. It stated that the people that worked inside the convenience store had no connection with, no responsibility for, or anything else under the sun to do with the regular old run-of-the-mill air machine. If it didn’t work at all, if it worked wrong, if it made your crops wither and die, you needed to call the 800 number on the machine, all sales final, no refunds. It also said $1.50 in quarters, do not run over hose.

Mr Old Buzzard drove right down to the local Ace Hardware and bought an air compressor, which will be fully paid for the 5th time he puts air into one of those tires.

The end.

Socially secure

I have succeeded in reaching a life-long goal.

I am now old enough to go on Social Security. This means that I am FINALLY going get some (all? more?) of that money back that was yanked outta my pay checks going back to 1972.

All you youngsters can just put a cork in your cheese holes for the time being. The money I am getting now is MY money, not yours. I am going to have to live quite a bit longer before I start collecting my filthy loot off of your backs. Will I last that long? Time will tell. In the meantime, I am going to cover my bed in yankee greenbacks and just roll around naked all over it, then drive far far away and spend it because damn, that will be some nasty cash.

Paying bills are grown up problems.

Sarah62, a social broadcaster, has decided that responsibility is too much.

Earlier this year Sarah was jailed for a second (or maybe it was her 3rd) DUI. She sat in jail for a few weeks.  I don’t actually know how long it was and I don’t care; it’s not important in my opinion.  When she got out of jail she had some responsibilities. What a concept.  An adult having responsibilities?  Wow this is shocking news!

Apparently she doesn’t like having to pay bills or the fees associated with a DUI.  She also doesn’t like being on probation or having the government do their jobs like trying to keep the streets safe from drunken fools.  Speaking of fools, I don’t think Sarah knows how alcohol works.  She doesn’t realize that alcohol on the breath means its in the blood stream because she keeps saying it was on her breath.  Does she think it just stays in her mouth? Does she think it stays in her lungs only?

Someone very smart once told me “most of the population has a low IQ.”  Good luck in life Sarah. If sitting in jail is easier than responsibilities maybe you should just stay there.

In the event anyone was worried about her going back to jail, she didn’t. She’s been too busy posting photos of her boobs on facebook.


In the Dock, again

(Editor’s Note – this story refers back to this article: )

The Undisputed UK Champion of alcohol consumption is due back in court, once again, this week. Christopher While has to stand before some guy in a powdered horse hair wig and answer to charges concerning the possession of Kiddy Pr0n. This is a serious matter, until you realize that the court system over there is administered by people who dress like this:

Seriously, I mean damn.


I suspect if I were ever to find myself in a courtroom in the UK, I would have to be sedated. That’s the ONLY way you could stop me from looking at someone dressed like that and not just bust out laughing. Did these lawyers, er, barristers and judges commit some sort of offense themselves, and their sentence is to dress up like a Warner Brothers cartoon character when they come to work?

If it may please the court, until your lordship dresses like a normal human being, I am unable to enter a plea due to insanity. Looking at you is driving me crazy.