Dissection (ZOMG, this is a long post)

I would like to parse Goutboy’s post on his blog regarding the end of guest chat on his mother’s website, the one he advertises as being “Possibly the Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet”.

Guest chat and Vaughn Live

After 6+ years we have decided that it is time to retire guest chat on Vaughn Live. At this point in time it no longer fits with the vision we have for the site. Guest chat was once a fun way of quickly interacting with others but in recent time has become a tool for malicious trolling. While this feature was off by default, some broadcasters would turn it on and not moderate their chat at all. And many new broadcasters would be pushed by viewers to enable guest chat simply so folks could hatefully troll them.

Rather than add more hoops for the malicious guests to jump through when banned (as it is we IP ban them left and right), we felt it’s best to move forward without guest chat. You will still be able to view chat without being signed in and you can easily create a free account to chat. This change will allow us to better focus our time on those that enjoy the site rather than those that wish to harm it and its community.

RIP guest chat 2011-2018

Guest chat will be disabled across all VaughnSoft sites in the next 24 hours.

First sentence: After 6+ years we have decided that it is time to retire guest chat on Vaughn Live. “We” in this instance means that his mother (the person who actually owns and pays for the website) has decided and Goutboy has run out of steam to argue with her. Those of you who have been following the misadventures of the Tennessee Internet Tycoons know exactly whereof I speak. It also bears mentioning (and Goutboy will mention it very shortly) that guest chat is/was a feature that could be turned off by a channel owner, so what is actually being retired is the channel owner’s choice of having guest chat. This is a direct result of the site owner’s psychotic need for absolute control over every detail of every channel on her website. Once again, this should come as no surprise to anyone who has been paying attention to her antics over the years.

Second sentence: At this point in time it no longer fits with the vision we have for the site. In fact, the owner of the website had been declaring repeatedly in the chats that she invades that she wanted guest chat cut off for quite some time now. Apparently Goutboy was summoning up what tiny amount of testicular fortitude he had and was resisting her decree. That little family power struggle is over, and to the surprise of exactly no one, mommy wins. The phrase “this point in time” makes it seem like Goutboy woke up on Christmas Day with an epiphany regarding how social interaction should work on his mother’s website and is now acting upon it. That simply is not the case.

Now I have to admit, in the interest of full disclosure, when I read “the vision we have for the site” I fucking nearly choked on my chicken noodle soup. Sweet Jesus, who knew Goutboy was such a comedian? If there is one thing that site has exactly nothing of, it is vision. The diseased duo who run that place have bounced around from notion to notion much like a schizophrenic shop lifting  break dancer surrounded by an LAPD SWAT team with tasers. They have no long term plans, goals, schemes or strategies. Based on what I have observed, the only “vision” I think they actually had was one of “let’s slowly go broke and hope some idiot buys this place”. I do believe that particular window closed some time ago.

Third sentence: Guest chat was once a fun way of quickly interacting with others but in recent time has become a tool for malicious trolling. This one is simply a lie from start to finish. Guest chat is and always has been the anonymous way of saying what you wish to say, regardless of your motivations. Trolling has been an integral part of social broadcasting before the phrase “social broadcasting” was even thought of. What the fuck does “fun way” even mean? Who was it fun for? Was it fun for the broadcaster? If so, how? Goutboy says guest chat was a “fun way” and he says it was “quick”.

This implication that guest chat is a somehow quicker form of interaction does not stand up to scrutiny at all. If a user has an account on this crap site, they are automagically logged in and can post whatever drivel they type every bit as fast as a user who is not logged in. The idea that guest chat is “quick” and “fun” is a total canard, which is very much what Goutboy and his mother do. They lie.

And then we come to this absolute gem: “in recent time has become a tool for malicious trolling”. If by “recent”, you mean the War of 1812, then yeah. It has also become “a tool”. Being a tool is something Goutboy knows a great deal about, so I shall defer to his years of experience and expertise. “Malicious trolling” is easily defined in the context of this post. It means you are saying bad things about the woman that owns the website or any of her ass-kissers. Goutboy and his mother NEVER lifted a finger when people were trolling the shit out of alcoholic mother-beaters from New Jersey or toothless Canadian sister fondlers, but if you called out some other folks for hypocrisy and double standards, your account (assuming you were using it) was about to get shut down. Gee… it makes one wonder why people were using guest chat and VPNs (and let’s make no mistake about this, VPNs are why guest chat is getting closed. Goutboy can’t deal with them).

Sentence four: While this feature was off by default, some broadcasters would turn it on and not moderate their chat at all. Firstly, the “off by default” was a fairly recent development, and that was Goutboy trying to compromise with his overbearing mother, who wanted guest chat shut down entirely due to her inability to control it. The miscreant broadcasters who were cutting guest chat on were the broadcasters who make social broadcasting entertaining, they were inviting the unwashed riff-raff hoi polloi commoners to have their say. In a literal sense, the guests were the salt that seasons the stew that is chat. Sure, you can add too much salt, but next time you know better. That is called “learning from experience”. If a particular guest is being especially annoying, such as that obese imbecile named Johnny Cardinal, you just ban his ass or have one of your moderators on standby to watch for his pathetic posts. The phrase “not moderate their chat at all” is also easily defined, it means you were not censoring posts that the Queen of Mercury did not want to read. It’s all about her, people. It’s ALWAYS all about her.

Sentence five: And many new broadcasters would be pushed by viewers to enable guest chat simply so folks could hatefully troll them. Here we have another lie to close out the first paragraph. “New broadcasters”… From what I have seen, unicorns are more plentiful than “new broadcasters” on that site. Goutboy, you and your mommy have killed your site. No one uses it due to your mother’s contagious level of mercury poisoning. Let me pose a scenario to you, oh reader. Exactly who is pushing these new broadcasters to open guest chat if guest chat is off? It must be registered users, because they are the only people who can post. Is it possible that these registered users are acting as agents-provocateur for a certain vile, overbearing woman who has an agenda regarding guest chat? Ponder that while I shake my head at Goutboy’s absurd assertion that a broadcaster is going to enable guest chat so they can be “hatefully trolled”. Yep, that’s what he says. Read it for yourself. At this point, one has to wonder if Goutboy sincerely believes his user base is so stupid to swallow this immense load of crap? Does Goutboy actually think that these “new users” are turning on guest chat so people can call them names and tell them to put a shoe on their head?

Sentence six: Rather than add more hoops for the malicious guests to jump through when banned (as it is we IP ban them left and right), we felt it’s best to move forward without guest chat. Now we get a left handed admission of defeat. Goutboy is beaten. He can’t stop the folks using VPNs from getting on to his site. I am talking people who are madly skilled, such as Johnny Cardinal and Patrickva, people of true genius. Goutboy, please share with us, how does it feel to be beaten by such indomitable foes? Goutboy has hoisted the white flag of surrender (and France) and has given up the fight.

Sentence seven: You will still be able to view chat without being signed in and you can easily create a free account to chat. AND NOW WE COME DOWN TO IT. As Cocoa stated in her post, this is all about generating new accounts, thereby inflating the numbers of his user base in the hopes of making this site more attractive to a potential purchaser. Goutboy is telling all his trolls that they must sit by helplessly, watching all the delicious chat roll by (except so far, there doesn’t seem to be any… could it be that another of Goutboy’s schemes will not work?) and the only way you can get a word in is to…. make an account (on top of the 30 to 50 you already have). Goutboy stated in several of his town halls from long ago that once the site came out of beta, users would be able to delete their accounts. It didn’t happen; it was just another in a very long string of lies that fell out of his rotund, thick lipped face.

Sentence eight: This change will allow us to better focus our time on those that enjoy the site rather than those that wish to harm it and its community. Well now, this remains to be seen. First off, let’s be clear that by “the site”, we are talking about one person, and that would be the Queen of Mercury, Goutboy’s mother. “Wish to harm it and its community” means not bowing down and kissing her ass every single moment you are logged in to any social media site, and hell yes, that includes facebook, reddit, twitter, whatever.

Goutboy will focus his time on honing his Minecraft skills. Goutboy’s mother… well I suspect in the long run she isn’t going to like this change as much as she thinks she is. It will be increasingly difficult for her to demonstrate her authority with no guests to talk trash to and then ban. Given her need to exercise authority, I predict that we will see “Chat Cannibalism” take place, whereby she will begin to ban those who fail to be obsequious enough to suit her momentary whims and moods. In other words, you will see a sort of North Korean style slow motion purge take place on the site until only the (terrified) true faithful remain, each and every one of them wondering upon whom the axe will now fall, because surely it will fall. It could not happen to a finer group of people.

Happy New Year. This is gonna be GREAT to watch.

2018 Brings Change

Happy New Year everyone!  People usually think about the past and how the new year will be a better year.  Some people use the new year as a ‘reset’ if you will, a time to break bad habits and form new ones.  Some people see it as just another day.  The only difference for me will be rewriting or typing 2018 instead of 2017.  (Yes, I just typed 2017 then had to backspace to change it to 2018.  I digress.)

Vaughnlive.tv is on the “new year new beginnings” route.  They have decided to remove guest chat.  I wonder if this will save them a little money and that is why the change.  After very little thought I’ve concluded they need more “new accounts” as trolls can create many of them. I’m assume with the site dwindling the number of new accounts hasn’t grown.  Whatever the case, say goodbye to guest chat friends.

Click here and read for yourself.

Happy New Year!

21st Century Fairy Tales

Being a staunch traditionalist, I shall begin my tale in that most time-honored fashion…

Once upon a time, in the sleepy little County of *****, there lived a cranky old buzzard with a new truck.

One night, his truck sent him an email. Trucks can do that now. We must be living in the 21st century.

The email said “my rear tires are quite low in pressure, do something!”. Now these tires were not just filled with any old run-of-the-mill air. No sir. These tires had special air, which went by the name of Nitrogen. Nitrogen was quite proud of being nitrogen, and didn’t much care when common folk mentioned that regular old run-of-the-mill air was 78% nitrogen to begin with. This nitrogen liked to remind people that it was pure, unadulterated nitrogen, and that messy old oxygen was neither needed nor wanted.

So anyway, Mr Old Buzzard shook his head at the idea of a truck emailing him, and the following morning he rose out of bed, threw on his go-to-town clothes and went to get some nitrogen for his poor tires. Imagine Mr Old Buzzard’s surprise when the first tire service business he stopped at responded with “What? Niter Gen? Is that a Japanese tire? We don’t carry them, but maybe I can order some.” Mr Old Buzzard thanked them and then drove to another tire business. The response was different but not exactly better. They didn’t have nitrogen either, but they knew about how a lot of new vehicles were coming with nitrogen filled tires, but they were…. unconvinced of the benefits of this highfalutin’ special air and offered to top Mr Old Buzzard off with regular old run-of-the-mill air, but Mr Old Buzzard had read somewhere on the internets that it was best practice not to add regular old run-of-the-mill air to a tire full of nitrogen because REASONS.

So Mr Old Buzzard drove to the local GMC Honda dealership, which just happened to be owned by the brother of the man that Mr Old Buzzard had bought his truck from. Mr Old Buzzard walked into the service department, removed his hat and asked the young lady at the service desk (lady at the service desk? We MUST be living in the 21st century) if they could fill up a low tire with nitrogen. She smiled and said they had no nitrogen and before she could continue, an old service geezer from across the way cackled “Nitrogen? Ha! Some dealers are putting that stuff in new tires, and they will be happy to fill them up for you. Be sure you have your wallet when you go.” Mr Old Buzzard turned to old service geezer and said “Yes, they do”. Mr Old Buzzard pointed at his truck that was parked out front and continued “That truck right there has nitrogen in the tires, and it came from the brother of the fellow that owns this place”.

Old service geezer suddenly got very busy at his desk while loudly stating for all to hear “Different business all together, they got nothing to do with us!”. Mr Old Buzzard watched old service geezer for a few moments to see if he had anything else to add, then turned back to the young lady at the service desk. “Do you know of anyone in ***** County that would have nitrogen available to pump up a low tire?”, he asked. The young lady at the service desk named both tire stores that Mr Old Buzzard had already visited, so Mr Old Buzzard thanked the young lady at the service desk for her time. She did tell Mr Old Buzzard that regular old run-of-the-mill air could be used to fill the tires up. Mr Old Buzzard thanked the young lady at the service desk again and walked out to his truck.

Mr Old Buzzard really did not want to drive to the next village over to pump up a tire, but at this point he figured maybe a phone call to the place he had bought the truck from was in order. So Mr Old Buzzard pulled into a large convenience store/gas station parking lot and told his truck to call *** Chevrolet (wait a minute… you can tell a truck to make a phone call?!?) and he ended up talking to Heather in the service department (woman in the service depart…, ah, you’ve heard this before). Mr Old Buzzard asked Heather if she knew of any place in ***** County that could fill up a low tire with nitrogen. Heather did not know of any place in ***** County that could do that. Mr Old Buzzard then asked Heather if *** Chevrolet had nitrogen (here comes the good part of the story, so pay attention) and Heather said “Yes, we have it, it’s $20 per tire to fill.”

There was a long silence wherein Mr Old Buzzard had many thoughts, none of which shall be discussed here. Twenty dollars. Per tire.

Mr Old Buzzard finally told Heather he thought that was just a bit out of line, he wasn’t holding Heather responsible for that bit of (here, the reader may choose between words such as “robbery”, “larceny”, “greed”, “scam”, etc) customer service policy, but Mr Old Buzzard did add that he sure did wish he had known about the Nitrogen Charge and its total lack of availability ANYWHERE other than *** Chevrolet. From Heather’s quiet response that one could use regular old run-of-the-mill air to inflate the tire, Mr Old Buzzard formed an idea that possibly Heather may well have had this conversation before.

So Mr Old Buzzard thanked Heather for her time and ended the call. He saw a coin operated regular old run-of-the-mill air machine in the same parking lot he was already in, so he drove over to it and got out of his truck. A hand-lettered sign was taped to the face of the regular old run-of-the-mill air machine. It stated that the people that worked inside the convenience store had no connection with, no responsibility for, or anything else under the sun to do with the regular old run-of-the-mill air machine. If it didn’t work at all, if it worked wrong, if it made your crops wither and die, you needed to call the 800 number on the machine, all sales final, no refunds. It also said $1.50 in quarters, do not run over hose.

Mr Old Buzzard drove right down to the local Ace Hardware and bought an air compressor, which will be fully paid for the 5th time he puts air into one of those tires.

The end.

You Fuckers are NOT helping me.

Now look here. I have ASKED for help and exactly none of you people have intervened in any way, shape or form. No one has hidden my wallet, no one has cut up my credit cards, no one has even sent me a strongly worded telegram. Hell, one of you (and I won’t mention any names, but her initials are Cocoa Black) even told me to get whatever I wanted.

So there’s this guy I ran across about a year ago, his name is John Backlund and he is an industrial designer with a taste for retro and the Jetsons. You can already tell I’m fucked, can’t you? John has designed a number of guitars which are figuratively “out-of-this-world”. They are very colorful, visually distinctive and look exactly like what George Jetson, his wife Jane, daughter Judy and his boy Elroy would play, assuming the Jetsons did a Partridge Family act and played gigs at Spacely Sprockets.

Backlund GuitarsOne of John’s designs really caught my attention; it was his “Marz 6” guitar. I knew it existed because it was in his family photo of the design prototypes he owns.

Backlund Prototypes

The Marz 6 is that golden beauty that is the 2nd from left upright guitar on the sofa. I contacted Mr Buckland and told him of my interest in his guitar and he responded very promptly, but not with any good news. He explained that the Marz 6 in the picture had been built for him by a Dutch luthier and it was the only existing Marz 6 in the galaxy. To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement, but I thanked Mr Backlund for his time and told him I would be interested in purchasing one should he ever sell the design to a manufacturer. You know what’s coming next.

On December 20th, John announced that Eastwood Guitars would be manufacturing a few of his designs. The Marz 6 was not listed among them on the Eastwood site, but John had posted on a guitar forum that the Marz 6 was going to be produced. I sent Eastwood a query on the subject and applied some serious search-fu and lo, a true Christmas Miracle occurred. The Marz 6 has a separate pre-order page not linked to the rest of John’s guitars, Eastwood is accepting deposits for Marz 6’s in various colors and for a mere two hunnit dollah you can nail down the color of your choice with anticipated delivery in April of  2018. TAKE MY MONEY NOW!

I advised John I had mine on order and he thanked me and advised… well, his exacts words were “Thank you! You’ll be getting what will probably always be quite a rare guitar. Of course, I would like to be wrong about this, but I would be surprised if more than fifty to seventy-five Marz 6 guitars will ever be built.”

So dear reader(s), thanks for nothing in helping me to stop buying guitars. Not that anything short of shooting me in the noggin would have stopped me from getting this one. The badass is just WAY too strong to resist.

That time of year

The annual madness that we refer to as “The Holidays” is here. Endure, my friends, endure.

In the meantime:

Flour Pouer

The plot, much like the gravy, thickens.

There are signs of old acquaintances sticking their heads up out of the holes they have been hiding in. I gird my loins in anticipation of battles to come. Having failed to resurrect the ghost of sites past, it appears they have engaged in a re-branding of sorts and have chosen a most unlikely place (or three) to reappear.

An interesting bit of history to be filed under “What Might Have Been”: As some/all of the reader(s) of this blog know, at one time I was utilized as on-air talent by RadioRockCafe (hereinafter referred to as RRC). I was very much the red haired step-child while I was there, but I was there, nonetheless. When the owners of RRC first acquired the blogtv.ca domain, they debated engaging in a GoFundMe or some similar internet-based means of raising funds. I asked the male third of the RRC beast a very direct question – how much do you need? I was rather un-gently rebuffed and told that this was information I did not need to know. Sigh.

Okay, backup and try again, and ignore the pigheaded stubbornness demonstrated by French Canadians.

Okay, it is more than $20,000? No.
Is it more that $15,000? No.
Is it more than $10,000? It is less than $10,000 (and wouldn’t it have been easier to have just told me that up front?).

On hearing that less than ten thousand dollars needed to be raised, I said something to the effect of “doitdoitdoitdoit”. If Steven Jones could raise in excess of 14K given his reputation, the RRC guys should have easily been able to do 10K.

Within a small number of days of this conversation (and by small, I am talking 48 to 72 hours) I was no longer associated with RRC. This was very fortunate timing for me, as I was going to “prime the donation pump” by dropping $1,000 into the till to get the ball rolling. And if push had come to shove, I could have just underwritten the whole goddamned thing.

Being only human, I dare not lie and say I don’t enjoy the schadenfreude that the entire blogtv.ca debacle has generated. I had my concerns that the beast that was RRC was getting into bed with a person of very, very questionable character, but the excitement of bringing blogtv back from the grave overwhelmed my sense of caution and I was quite close to doing something colossally stupid. It is abundantly apparent from this distance that the entire blogtv.ca project was doomed from day one. I know many people had their hopes raised that their “paradise of the internet” was going to be restored to them (trust me on this much, it would NOT have been the same, given the people involved), but as Thomas Wolfe noted almost 100 years ago, you can’t go home again.

Spicy Black Bean Soup

When it gets cold make this soup.  Not only will it warm you up when you eat it, the bonus is when you are sleeping you will ride the toot toot train and keep yourself warm under the covers.

Seriously, I love Panera Bread’s black bean soup and tonight I made a soup comparable to that, which is totally awesome because Panera Bread is 20 minutes away!  The listed ingredients made a lot and I will put some in my friend Mr. Freezer for later in the season.

medium uncooked onion, finely chopped
medium garlic cloves, minced
45 oz canned black beans, un-drained, divided (three 15 oz cans)
1tsp red pepper flakes, or to taste
tsp ground cumin
141oz fat free chicken broth or vegetable broth
10 oz canned tomatoes with green chilies
11 oz canned yellow corn, drained

Instructions

Coat bottom of a large stockpot with cooking spray. Add onion and garlic and cook, stirring frequently, until onions are soft but not brown, about 5 minutes.

Place one can of beans in blender; add sauteed onion mixture, red pepper flakes and cumin. Cover and blend on high until smooth, about 30 seconds. Pour mixture back into stockpot.

Place second can of beans and broth in blender and puree until smooth; add to stockpot.

Stir third can of beans (do not puree first), tomatoes and green chilies, and corn into stockpot. Bring to a boil, lower heat to medium and simmer for 20 to 25 minutes. Yields about 1 1/2 cups of soup per serving.

 

ROAD TRIP!!!

Me an’ brother Kyle are piling into a horseless carriage in the very near future and taking off up the road to see King Crimson one last time before the end of the 2017 US tour. Kyle caught the show in Atlanta and I saw them in Raleigh; this time we are DOING IT RIGHT by getting the VIP tickets. Meeting/Q&A with band members, bag o’ loot, front row seats… this is gonna be motherfucking epic x 9000.

I am going to be sporting this when I go:

Because I am a total geek and have no shame whatsoever.

Beefy Goulash

What is Goulash? After reading up on goulash, I did add paprika.  I also add paprika to my deviled eggs, maybe I will start calling them goulash eggs?  I joke and I digress.

This was an incredibly tasty meal.  I used turkey instead of hamburger meat as I like to be difficult and experimental.  I also used two different pastas as that’s what I had on hand.

 

INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 lbs uncooked 95% lean ground beef
  • 2 medium yellow onions, diced
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 3 cups water
  • 2 (15 oz) cans tomato sauce
  • 2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes
  • 2 tablespoons Italian seasoning
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 3 tablespoons low sodium soy sauce
  • 1 tablespoons seasoned salt
  • 1 teaspoon paprika
  • ½ teaspoon black pepper
  • 12 oz uncooked elbow macaroni

DIRECTIONS:

  1. Place the ground beef in a large dutch oven and bring over medium heat. Cook, breaking up with a spoon or spatula, until the meat is browned and in small pieces. Drain the grease from the pan. Add the onions and garlic and stir together. Continue to cook for another 5 minutes or until onions are translucent. Add the water, tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, Italian seasoning, bay leaves, soy sauce, seasoned salt, paprika and black pepper and stir together. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat. Cover the pot and simmer for 15-20 minutes.
  2. Add the macaroni and stir until well combined. Re-cover the pot and simmer for 20-25 minutes until the macaroni is cooked through. Remove from heat, stir and remove the bay leaves. Allow to sit for 15 minutes before serving.

I started cooking this in a pot that I thought was going to be big enough, boy was I wrong!  I had to grab a bigger pot so please make sure you have a monsterous pot!

I know what I will be eating for the next week.

 

Garden Vegetable Soup

The temperatures have been dropping which means it’s finally time to heat up the kitchen with lots of great food.

 

People, and by people I mean my Doctor, have been asking what I’ve been eating.  Today I’m eating Garden Vegetable Soup which I find taste fabulous!

 

It took me forever to cut up all these vegetables and I’m super glad I bought a mandoline slicer to make it easier!  Just be sure to watch your fingers.

 

Ingredients:

  • spray(s)cooking spray
  • 1cup(s)uncooked carrot(s), sliced
  • 12cup(s)sweet red pepper(s), diced
  • 1cup(s)frozen chopped onions
  • clove(s), medium garlic clove(s), minced
  • cup(s)fat free chicken broth, beef broth or vegetable broth
  • 1cup(s), shredded uncooked savoy cabbage, chopped
  • 1cup(s)fresh spinach, chopped
  • tsp canned tomato paste
  • 1tsp dried basil
  • 1tsp dried oregano
  • 1tsp table salt, or to taste
  • 1cup(s) uncooked zucchini, diced

Instructions

  • Spray large saucepan with cooking spray; heat. Sauté carrot, pepper, onion, and garlic over low heat until soft, about 5 minutes. Add broth, cabbage, spinach, tomato paste, basil, oregano, and salt; bring to boil. Reduce heat; simmer, covered, about 15 minutes. Stir in zucchini; cook 3-4 minutes more. Serve hot. Yields about 1 cup per serving.

    I always use more garlic than any recipe calls for and I also added more zucchini because I love big chunks of zucchini.  I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Socially secure

I have succeeded in reaching a life-long goal.

I am now old enough to go on Social Security. This means that I am FINALLY going get some (all? more?) of that money back that was yanked outta my pay checks going back to 1972.

All you youngsters can just put a cork in your cheese holes for the time being. The money I am getting now is MY money, not yours. I am going to have to live quite a bit longer before I start collecting my filthy loot off of your backs. Will I last that long? Time will tell. In the meantime, I am going to cover my bed in yankee greenbacks and just roll around naked all over it, then drive far far away and spend it because damn, that will be some nasty cash.

Life lessons with Sarah62

Sarah62,  a social broadcaster, has given the world her life lessons.  After multiple DUIs, she learned this in a mandatory class as part of her probation.  Too bad she didn’t learn this earlier.

Paying bills are grown up problems.

Sarah62, a social broadcaster, has decided that responsibility is too much.

Earlier this year Sarah was jailed for a second (or maybe it was her 3rd) DUI. She sat in jail for a few weeks.  I don’t actually know how long it was and I don’t care; it’s not important in my opinion.  When she got out of jail she had some responsibilities. What a concept.  An adult having responsibilities?  Wow this is shocking news!

Apparently she doesn’t like having to pay bills or the fees associated with a DUI.  She also doesn’t like being on probation or having the government do their jobs like trying to keep the streets safe from drunken fools.  Speaking of fools, I don’t think Sarah knows how alcohol works.  She doesn’t realize that alcohol on the breath means its in the blood stream because she keeps saying it was on her breath.  Does she think it just stays in her mouth? Does she think it stays in her lungs only?

Someone very smart once told me “most of the population has a low IQ.”  Good luck in life Sarah. If sitting in jail is easier than responsibilities maybe you should just stay there.

In the event anyone was worried about her going back to jail, she didn’t. She’s been too busy posting photos of her boobs on facebook.

 

Saturday Night Wrestling

Who knew Saturday Night wrestling was alive in small town America much less Vaughnlive.

Apparently before WWE (or whatever it’s called these days) people in small towns all across America watched wrestling.  What’s shocking is that after the invention of real fighting such as boxing and MMA people still watch wrestling!

I was bored one Saturday night and happened on Vaughnlive, a social broadcasting site, and witnessed real wrestling, the fake kind of course!  Since I’m not into fake cat fighting and I’m not into girls I looked into the audience to see what types of people were there watching this teenage wet dream debacle.  I was not surprised, a bunch of men and maybe a few lesbians.  Maybe they thought it was mud wrestling?  Do they even do mud wrestling anymore?  I digress.

Bottom line guys: go to the strip club.  The girls show more and if it’s a trashy place they might touch you.

 

I’ve Been Catfished

Cookie, a social broadcaster, has met a fate which is due to most internet chat room goers, she fell for a catfish.

Cookie Lipchitz, aka Yetta Telebenda, has had a friend named Tripcode for at least a year (that I know of).  I don’t know the entire story and I don’t care.  The conclusion that I’ve drawn from Cookie’s rambling is Tripcode is a catfish and lives far far away from her. Rather than be embarrassed by the lies she believed, she embraced the truth.  Hell, she even bought a t-shirt to commemorate her catfish adventure.

I myself have been catfished several times during my adventures on the interwebs and sadly  I didn’t embrace it as well as Cookie did.  Maybe I can learn something from her. Sadly, I found myself hurt by the lies that were told and ashamed of myself for falling for the lies.

I often wondered if the inventors of the internet knew that it would turn out to be a place of lies and deceit.  Recently I found myself in a social situation (yes, I actually interacted with a real human being face to face) where I reverted back to dealing with internet trolls and thought to myself, wow I must spend too much time on the internet to have such a reaction. I wonder how today’s society relates to one another (since most kids these days connect with one another via text or some type of social app) and if doubt and distrust are their first reactions, as was mine recently.  What a sad world.  I digress.

There is currently a show named Catfish which I (now) watch regularly and have decided that either people want to be on TV or they are messed up in the head. I have decided that catfishing is here to stay; it’s very popular and easy to do.  The hard part is tracking down the fish. I am good at tracking people down due to my leet skills, yo.  In the end what is the point? There is no reason for the lies that were told and if there was a reason it most likely isn’t a “good reason” for the person who was fooled.

With all that said, I think Cookie’s attitude towards her situation of being catfished is a good one, she seems to be laughing it off rather than being sad, mad, embarrassed, ashamed, confused, etc.  If only we could have her attitude and turn the catfish into the fool maybe there would be less catfish.

 

 

When you hit the bottom of the barrel, PUT THE SHOVEL DOWN.

There are so many different ways to start this post. I could talk about The Actual Owner of The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet’s (hereinafter referred to as Miss Scruffy) severe mental issues. I could talk about Miss Scruffy’s repeated oath that no channel would ever be micro-managed. I could ask (rhetorically, of course) why there should even be more than one channel on that crap site when Miss Scruffy has decided she is going to run all of them by her (highly variable, subject to change depending on her mood, whims, medication dosage, mercury content) rules. What I think I shall do is pay heed to that old axiom that a picture is worth a thousand words.

So there you have it. Scruffy’s neurosis at work and on display, micro-management, arrogance, engaging in an action that clearly exceeds any written term of service, all because this sick, sick woman is being driven by some inner demon to show off, to preen, to show her tiny, tiny little world that she is powerful and almighty, not to be trifled with, transgressed upon, argued with or ignored.

I am given to understand that her employee (AKA Mark Vaughn, Gout Boy, The World’s Greatest Coder, Mr Great Things Coming Soon, No ETA) closed Rectal_Exam’s channel shortly after this screen capture was taken. Scruffy, being dim-witted and simply not very intelligent is very surely and deliberately winnowing out everyone from her website (and it is hers, make no mistake about that) and will wake up one day and discover she has no one left to inflict herself upon. On that day, her life as she knows it will come to an end. It will just be her and Gout Boy, alone against the world, same as it ever was.

Sicut erat in princi­pio, et nunc et semper et in saecula saeculorum, bitch.

What’s Cooking?

We seem to have entered the horse latitudes of blogging here at Premium Hogwash.

Johnny Cardinal is not being seen (a major accomplishment, given that his girth exceeds that of the Death Star), Shitty Chris doesn’t have a court date until November, the only train wreck left on Vaughn Live is… Mark Vaughn, and the entire Scrag Collective seems to have scuttled underneath a rock somewhere.

Have you ever seen an unhealthier looking human being in your life? Pale white complexion? Check. Cheekbones and jawline buried underneath fat? Check. Dark bags under eyes? Check. Drooping eyelids and unfocused stare? Check.

Jesus H Christ, Mark! Get to a fucking hospital or go to a mortician, but do one or the other now. If you weren’t a full time asshole and proud of it, I would consider feeling sorry for you. As it stands, you look like you are doing your best to be another Johnny Cardinal.

The two things that still function quite well for Mark are his greed and his duplicity. Mark is still telling himself and his sycophants that he turned down ten million dollars for breakers.tv, a lie that would have likely made Joseph Goebbels choke on his schnitzel. In the meantime, this Tennessee Tycoon is also complaining about people using Ad Blocker, Kodi, and not forking over $15 per month to use his charming website. So at least you have that going for you, eh Mark?

Also, you have this amazing ability to failhard, looking like a clown by attempting to cash in on Christmas and having the Charlie Brownesque Christmas tree in the background. Should one laugh at this tableau of ineptitude? Should one cry that this autistic shut-in has been permitted out into the wilds of the internet? Perhaps I will just go with my initial reaction of disgust that anyone could think this was a good idea.

That’s where we are on the ides of October, 2017.

 

Katie the turtle?

I have so many different things to say about this post… some funny, some mean, some serious but all I can really deliver to you is my opinion: Katiekaboom does look like a turtle.

Katiekaboom, a social broadcaster on Vaughnlive.tv, broadcast her astronomical womba-wombas the other night in efforts to “look pretty” as she stated.  I think she was looking for attention and viewers but I digress. Whatever the case may be I told a friend, “Hey check her out.”  My friend responded with ‘she looks like a turtle’ and all I could see after that was turtle with boobs.  You decide.

No I didn’t show the photo of her and her watermelons because I felt sad for her; she looked like she was in pain and I felt sorry for her.

 

If you want to see them go to UK Muppets, they have video.

 

 

In the Dock, again

(Editor’s Note – this story refers back to this article: http://mullarea.com/pork/2017/07/11/asking-the-hard-questions/ )

The Undisputed UK Champion of alcohol consumption is due back in court, once again, this week. Christopher While has to stand before some guy in a powdered horse hair wig and answer to charges concerning the possession of Kiddy Pr0n. This is a serious matter, until you realize that the court system over there is administered by people who dress like this:

Seriously, I mean damn.

HELLO? DO YOU HAVE PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN?

I suspect if I were ever to find myself in a courtroom in the UK, I would have to be sedated. That’s the ONLY way you could stop me from looking at someone dressed like that and not just bust out laughing. Did these lawyers, er, barristers and judges commit some sort of offense themselves, and their sentence is to dress up like a Warner Brothers cartoon character when they come to work?

If it may please the court, until your lordship dresses like a normal human being, I am unable to enter a plea due to insanity. Looking at you is driving me crazy.

The roundness of the world in which we live

In what will be of interest to a bare handful of individuals, I discovered that King Crimson will be in Raleigh on October 26th.

Tickets purchased.

I am taking my little brother along so he can see Robert Fripp before the venerable gentleman retires.

Catfish will not be served.

Hurricane Irma Warning

Cherrybreeze, a social broadcaster on Vaughnlive.tv, has given valuable advice when faced with a hurricane.

Hurricanes and the destruction are no laughing matter.  If you haven’t seen the most recent devastation of hurricane Harvey then you might be living under a rock.  Most people remember hurricane Katrina and the havoc it created in New Orleans.  There have been many hurricanes in the past with as much wreckage as Katrina and Harvey, and there will be more in the future as that is the way the world works.

Recently I caught Cherrybreeze giving her opinions on the upcoming Hurricane Irma which is scheduled to hit the USA sometime next weekend. She believes Irma is to hit the USA this weekend, yesterday to be exact.

In light of my recent post, regarding the constant need to be reminded on how to adult,  I thought I would give her public service announcement more “air time.”

So remember, gather your photos, put them in your bra, and head to higher ground.  Men, you must put on a bra first, then gather your photos, put them in your bra, and then head to higher ground.

On a serious note (of course I’m going to have a serious note, hurricanes are not funny) please be prepared and take care of yourself and others if you are in the path of a hurricane.  There are many great websites on the internet, such as this one, if you are in need of real information on hurricane preparedness.

TOSsed or Not

I’ve said it before, it all depends on if the site owners like you or not if you get TOSsed.

A special thanks to a friend who sent these photos to me and who doesn’t like a friend that sends porn photos?  What better place to find porn than Vaughnlive.tv.  The site owners get mad at you if you broadcast it on their main page.  Apparently there were some high jinks on another area of the site and it went unnoticed, or the caster is friends with the owners.

 

I’m not sure why people are still shocked that there are special rules for special people.  This happens all the time in life.  Think about it, you know I’m right.  Stop getting butt hurt over it and enjoy some free porn with the safety of no computer virus.

Thanks friend!!

Do what you’re told, peasants.

The Actual Owner of Possibly The Biggest Steaming Pile of Horseshit on the Internet was observed in her son’s channel demanding DEMANDING that the guests log in. Apparently guest chat is just too much for the rancid Queen of Mercury to bear. Anonymity is just fine for the Actual Owner of the site as she lurks and spies and trolls and posts leading remarks in the channels of customers users those idiots who use her site, but it is not permitted in her son’s channel, by god! Know your place, you wretched scum!

Shuffle them already!

I don’t know a thing about boxing but I do think I could keep the numbers up for Vaughn.

Last Saturday night most of the men I know were abuzz with anticipation of the Mayweather/McGregor fight.  Although I watched, I have no clue what’s going on with boxing, who are popular boxers, or the rules of boxing.  I did know that my friends have been talking about this fight for months.  Apparently, Mayweather is a traditional boxer, meaning he’s always been a boxer.  McGregor, however, is an MMA fighter who wanted to fight Mayweather; McGregor trained to be a boxer and not use his MMA skills to fight Mayweather.  I hear there was a lot of money to be made for both athletes and as usual this was a pay per view event.  For those of you who don’t know, most of these boxing/MMA big name tickets are pay per view, meaning you have to pay (in this instance $89.95) to watch the event.

As for myself, I’m not a fan enough to pay $10.00 to watch much less $89.95.  So what’s a girl to do? Of course, go online and find someone streaming it live.  I headed to my normal broadcasting site which flourishes in copyright infringement broadcasts, Vaughnlive.tv.

HandsomeMork has posted previously about the site and its “owner.”  I have heard from other sources (yes I know that’s hearsay) that the owners love to talk about the numbers of their site.  So why don’t they help themselves while they can?  When I first logged onto the website I found a great stream of the fight with over 2,000 viewers in that one channel.  Of course it was taken down due to RUNDMC laws.  (I will leave it to HandsomeMork to school us on RUNDMC rules and regulations.) In true fashion another channel opened right up with the fight.  All 2000 viewers went to the new channel.  The broadcasters had several back up channels they were advertising in the chat rooms because they knew they were going to get shut down eventually.  As the evening got closer to the main event there were several channels opened with the fights.  Many were closed down and new ones opened several times that night. (Before I started recording I had already witnessed two channel closures.)  At one point in time there were five different channels live showing the fights.  Some were good quality, some better, and some worse.  Those original 2000 viewers were now spread out among the five different channels.

The owner of the (what appears to be a dying) website was probably jumping for joy as his site is finally getting some numbers again but why not keep those numbers?  Why not shuffle those highly viewed channels to the end of the line making it harder to find?  Saturday it was very easy to find the fights, they were all number one or two in the channel line up.  Why not move them to the end of the line to keep your numbers? Also, why continue to advertise VIP service on these highly watched channels?  You are only making the viewers hate your site and go to different ones. I know of two other sites that were showing the fights that offer better services than Vaughn for free or a lower cost.

There were a few broadcasters who classified their broadcasts differently to keep them hidden, those worked as most people don’t look in the Spanish section of Vaughn unless they are looking for porn. Kudos to those casters for being smart!  I digress.

Now my question to you, is this a genius idea or am I a total ignoramus?

On a side note, I’m glad I didn’t pay any money for the fights.  I fell asleep waiting for the main event and had to watch it on youtube the next day.

 

Turn around. Don’t drown.

“Earth was created for all of us, not some of us.” – Douglas Williams

Hurricane Harvey made land fall on Texas a few days ago.  Many cities were evacuated (and are still being evacuated) due to the flooding and other conditions Harvey has brought them.  If you have seen the news regarding Harvey, you have probably seen some of the photos and videos of the devastation.  I think about my loved ones and friends in this area and wonder if they are okay.  Some of them are smart enough to wait it out, and some are just dumber than dumb. Those dumb ones would be the ones who are surfing in the streets, swimming in the culverts, or swinging from downed power lines.  I joke.

Yes there are some people who are dumber than a box of pickles. I find myself wondering why we constantly need to remind people not to do stupid things?  As a society we have to remind people “turn around, don’t drown”.  As a society we have to remind people to practice safe sex.  As a society we have to remind people don’t do drugs et cetera, et cetera. Why is this?  Did we forget to tell the younger generation how to be safe?  Did we forget how to use our brains?  Are we, as a society, really dumber than a box of pickles?

Why in 2015 was there an HIV outbreak?   Do we have to have commercials or public service announcements to remind people how to prevent the spread of aids?  During flash flooding, we are always reminded to “turn around, don’t drown”.  Did we forget that mother nature doesn’t care about how big and strong you are?  Did we forget mother nature can destroy buildings and a wee little human is nothing to her?  Should our TV programs be nothing but public service announcements rather than entertaining programs?

I once heard the term “dumbing down America.” I thought wow, that’s a terrible thing to say!  Years later (I hate to admit) it might be true.   Idiocracy is the perfect movie to encapsulate what I’m trying to say.

 

To all the Texans and Louisianians (and anyone else who might be affected by the hurricanes) I hope you are all safe.